


Skydeep

by Tatau



Category: due South
Genre: Cliche, Drug Use, Drugs, M/M, Undercover As Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:09:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatau/pseuds/Tatau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray and Fraser go undercover. And then the assignment turns gay—but apparently, Fraser is quite comfortable with that. Which, as it turns out, comes as a real eye-opener to Ray</p><p>(there are situations of drug use and mention of (non-explicit) non-con scenes - nothing gruesome, just in case this squicks someone)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What would I do without [Ride_Forever](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ride_Forever/pseuds/Ride_Forever) taking care of my beta for me? Exactly, I have no idea either. Thank you, my dear, for lending me your gifted abilities

RayK: “I don’t know who has less sex, me or you, but at least I’m still thinking about women. Do you think that’s better or worse?”

Fraser: “It’s an interesting question.”

            - A Likely Story

_~*~_

_“Are you looking for this?”_

_Surprised, Fraser turned around and only had time to register the butt of a gun coming his way before everything went dark._

_When he came to again, he found himself bound to a chair. Fraser moaned softly against the pain._

_“For whom have you been spying?”_

_Fraser shook his head slightly, if to clear his head or if to show that he wouldn’t answer wasn’t even clear to himself at this point._

_“We could use him,” a voice whispered excitedly._

_“I had the same idea,” another voice replied approvingly._

_~*~_

“Vecchio, Constable, in here if you please.”

Ray sighed. It was Thursday; so far this week hadn’t been all that bad. So far Welsh hadn’t asked them into his office either. Those two facts might be related. Fraser didn’t seem to have any misgivings about Welsh’s invitation and Ray envied him his good-world-expectations a little. Ray knew whenever someone wanted to speak to him in private he was in trouble. He just would’ve liked to know beforehand what they had done wrong this time.

He almost did a double-take when he entered his office and spotted two FBI agents; he caught himself at the last second, no reason to advertise his surprise. This didn’t bode well for Ray’s week.

“Gentlemen, we are required to offer our assistance in a federal investigation,” Welsh said, not without irony. The two agents didn’t look particularly pleased.

“This is a sensitive operation,” one of them said. Ray decided to call him ‘Smith I’ and his partner ‘Smith II’; they were just like the guys from the Matrix— they all looked the same. “We cannot risk any failure in this undercover operation—it has to be handled with the utmost care,” he sniffed haughtily.

Ray thought he saw where this was going. He wondered what he would have to do this time. Narcotics? Guns? Maybe he could use one of his old personas to get back into the groove—

“Constable Fraser, you fulfill all requirements,” Smith II said with a worried look at Fraser’s uncomfortably bright uniform.

Ray jerked in his seat.

“Fraser?” he intoned at the same time as his partner exclaimed, “Sir?” with a puzzled frown on his face.

“You will fill out the recently vacated position of head secretary at Meissner & Fish Inc.”

Ray wondered if the FBI had conveniently cleared that position or if that was purely coincidental.

“Fraser has no experience with undercover work,” Ray pointed out.

“On the contrary, Ray. I worked undercover as a teacher in an all-girls Catholic school—quite successfully, if I may add.”

“All-girls—?” Ray’s mind was still trying to come to grips with this part of the conversation when Welsh interrupted with a seraphic smile. “Frankly, we didn’t think your office skills were quite up to the task, Detective.”

“My office skills are just fine. Besides—”

“Besides that and your problem with authority we thought Fraser would feel quite comfortable with the cover part of his assignment,” Welsh’s tone brooked no argument.

Ray made a face. It wasn’t that he was keen on acting as secretary for some kind of company big jerk. It was just that Fraser was a shoddy liar; he worked like one of those big digital billboards, everything that happened inside got broadcasted loud and clear for everyone to see. Well, okay, he might’ve fooled Ray with that poker chick, but one poker game didn’t make you a good actor.

“I see. Of course, if I can be of assistance,” Fraser answered dutifully.

Smith I and II looked at each other and nodded. “You’ll start tomorrow. Meissner & Fish are under the strong suspicion of using the company as a front for developing synthetic drugs. So far we have been unable to trace the connection.”

“The name has come up over the course of our investigation,” Smith II added. “None of the suspects lived long enough to give us anything more definite.”

Smith II didn’t sound particularly grieved by this, more annoyed. This was another thing that didn’t sit well with Ray. The feds always messed things up. He didn’t want Fraser involved—had he not intervened at the poker game the feds would’ve waited for Fraser to be shot before going in.

“What do I do?” Ray asked with an edge to his voice.

### Chapter 1

_~*~_

_A chill crawled down his back as he listened. Stay calm, he reminded himself. At least they had no intention of killing him at the moment._

_His head hurt where they had hit him. He looked around the dim room and realized that they must have brought him to the warehouse. He needed a plan._

_~*~_

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Ray groaned with a look at the mountain of case folders on his desk trying to turn into the next tower of Babel.

Elaine smiled sympathetically at him. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go in with Fraser. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

Ray shrugged a little defensively, remembering the outburst he’d had when the feds left.

“Yeah, you know Fraser…”

They were both silent for a moment. Both knowing that Fraser always found trouble even when trouble was doing its utmost to avoid him.

“Maybe we could start on the McCallan case, the downtown robbery?” Elaine suggested in an effort to distract Ray.

Ray didn’t mind partnering Elaine for the duration of Fraser’s assignment. He just hated feeling this nagging worry eating away at his stomach lining whenever he thought of Fraser being stuck in a federal investigation without someone watching his back.

Ray swallowed a sigh and opened the uppermost folder. So, robbery.

It wasn’t before he consciously typed up his report that evening that Ray finally acknowledged that the gnawing inside of him was simply the feeling of missing Fraser. Ray sighed. It was weird. The man could drive him up the wall on the best of days, but now that he wasn’t there to annoy Ray with Inuit tales and freaky ear anecdotes Ray thought it was kind of too quiet.

He still managed to meet up with Fraser on some of the evenings after work. The fact that Fraser wasn’t all that enthusiastic about his new position as secretary was at least of some consolation to Ray. Even though Fraser had to spoil it a little by being very, very polite about his dismay.

It was on one of those evenings and Fraser was just relating how very similar his job at the Consulate and his current assignment were. _And that’s just the kind of stuff you really don’t like_ , Ray thought with a sympathetic smile. _I hear ya, buddy._

“…and there is simply nothing untoward happening at that office.” Fraser made a moue of disapproval. “The only thing I could find was an excessively high claim for a business dinner.” The way Fraser said ‘business dinner’ made Ray grin; it was full of righteous indignation.

“How so?” Ray asked, more to give him a chance to rant than out of any real interest.

Fraser frowned and touched his eyebrow with his knuckle. “I am taking care of the claims for the higher company members, mostly for business travel, restaurants or the occasional taxi to the office. I might not even have noticed this particular claim, but I was thinking how much good a company like that could do with the kind of money it paid their managers for eating at high-class establishments.”

Ray tried not to let the smile show. Benton Fraser, Robin Hood of the Great White North.

“This claim only listed three people—none of whom belong to the board of executives—but the claim was made out for $300 and there wasn’t an address given, only the name _Skydeep_.”

“Hmm.” It did sound a little weird. “Did you check it out?”

Fraser shook his head. “No, the personal assistant of Mr. Meissner, Sasha Peters, came to me and told me that the claim had ended up on my desk by mistake. I didn’t want to raise suspicion so I handed it back.”

“Maybe it’ll come up again?”

“I’ll certainly keep my eyes and ears on the alert, Ray.”

Ray had almost forgotten all about it when it hadn’t come up again. But he hadn’t expected it to crop up during one of his investigations – least of all in the fashion it did.

Elaine and he had just been on the way back from grabbing dinner when they got an anonymous tip that a murder was in progress at the docks. They were on the scene in a couple of minutes and at the mentioned location Ray saw a man about sixty flinging a huge bag into the water.

He toppled the man over and read him his rights and Elaine jumped into the water and retrieved the bag. She pulled it out, coughing and shivering and Ray draped his jacket over her and opened the bag. It seemed a little small for a body.

Surprised, Ray stared at the litter of kittens, meowing like there was no tomorrow, and for them there almost hadn’t been. Ray wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or to be mad about the call.

“Elaine, you saved a bunch of cats.”

“What?” She extricated herself from Ray’s jacket and stood up to look across Ray’s shoulder “You weren’t joking,” she said with a look of fond disbelief on her face.

“I would never joke about kittens,” Ray said with as much of a serious face as he could muster.

Ray pulled the old man up.

“Why would you drown a bag full of kittens? This is the next millennium; we have places for unwanted animals.”

The old man didn’t seem to be all there. He scrutinized Ray. “Were you with those from the warehouse? I waited for you to leave.”

“The, uh, warehouse?” Ray asked, hoping it wasn’t some kind of code.

“The warehouse,” the old man barked, pointing at the warehouse next to them.

“Oh.” It was clearly abandoned. But now that it had been pointed out to him he had to take a look.

Ray went over and pulled the door open. It was empty. Almost… except for…

“Hey, are you all right?” Ray ran up to a man lying on the cold concrete. He was completely naked and Ray saw the shiver run down his chest as his lips tried to form words.

“Elaine!” Ray shouted over his shoulder. “We need that jacket.”

“Shh…” Ray said soothingly. “It’ll be okay.”

But the man had trouble focusing; his cornflower blue eyes stared vacantly into space.

An absent-minded smile graced his face and his eyes met Ray’s.

“Sky…” he murmured.

“Sorry, what?” Ray asked, bending lower to hear him better.

“…deep.”

“Sky deep? What’s that supposed to mean?” Ray asked. But he saw the smile freeze and even while his hands tried to find a pulse Ray knew that the man was dead.

Elaine came running with his jacket in her hands.

“He’s dead,” Ray explained and Elaine stared at the naked man.

While Ray waited for the autopsy, he thought about the last words of the dying man. Sky deep… he was certain he had heard that before.

Suddenly he heard Fraser’s voice: “There wasn’t an address given, only the name _Skydeep”_. When the post mortem came back and Ray stared at the ‘cardiac arrest due to an overdose of an unregistered synthetic drug’ on the report he was sure that he had just found a connection.

Ray came back up the stairs and addressed the night-shift in the bullpen at large. “Okay, it’s showtime, gentlemen. Whoever comes up with something to go along with the word ‘skydeep’ wins a free coffee from the break room.”

There was a collective groan and a mutter of “you could at least spring for a decent coffee”, but five minutes later Dewey exclaimed “It’s a club on West Ontario Street.”

“Really?” Ray said, sounding almost disappointed. This had been easy.

Fraser finally arrived right in the middle of everything. “Is there some competition going on?” he asked Ray in a confidential tone at seeing the participation of the whole station.

“Something like that. We found your _Skydeep_.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, seems it’s a night club—”

Ray’s explanation was interrupted by Huey’s hoarse laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Ray asked.

Dewey grinned at him. “I think this is just the right assignment for you two.”

Irritably, Ray shook his head. “What are you blabbing about?”

“It’s a gay club. You always wanted to show your true colors, didn’t you? I’m sure you and Fraser will make a wonderful couple. Let us know when the wedding is.”

Ray gnashed his teeth to the loud sound of catcalls and whooping from his fellow officers.

He stepped in Dewey’s direction, prepared to bash his head in, but Fraser reached underneath his arms to pull him away. Fraser dragged him outside until the GTO was already in sight.

“Let go of me, dammit,” Ray snarled.

Fraser released him and Ray smoothed down his jacket.

“I should go back and break his jaw,” Ray said, heatedly.

Fraser looked at him with sad eyes. “Can we please get in the car, Ray?”

Ray huffed, but opened the car anyway.

As soon as they were inside, Ray’s tirade broke loose.

“These stupid jerks—think they’re so clever, huh? Yeah, dead funny. I’m laughing myself sick over it—if I hear one more stupid joke I’ll—”

“Ray, please.”

“No!” Ray whirled around. “You don’t have to take their shit, okay? They just think they’re being funny. Next time I see Dewey I’ll—”

“Ray, it’s all right.”

“No-It-Isn’t! Don’t let them get to you—they don’t really think you or me are, you know—” Ray waved his hand aimlessly around.

“Queer?” Fraser said carefully, braced for another one of Ray’s eruptions.

Ray looked stricken. “I’m sorry, it’s just… cops are assholes, I guess. Next one to crack a line risks a broken lip, I swear.”

Fraser cocked his head to the side, quietly assessing Ray. “Does this assignment make you feel uncomfortable?”

“Uncomf—no, hey, it isn’t that. I’m an open-minded guy. I just—they should just shut their traps. I don’t want them talking shit about you.”

“Ray, I don’t think being called ‘gay’ is an insult.”

The silence lasted exactly one beat until Ray’s brain had changed tack.

“You don’t?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Ray was quiet for some time.

What kind of guy didn’t think it was insulting to be called queer? Well, Fraser obviously. Freak. Someone who actually was gay, Ray supposed.

…

The thought stretched into all eternity.

Count to three. 1 – 2 – 3.

But Fraser wasn’t… was he? …no way.

“Does that mean you’re—” Ray hesitated. You couldn’t just run around asking people if they were gay. It was… impolite or something.

“Gay?” Fraser asked with a look of trepidation aimed at Ray’s tense posture.

“Uh, yeah, that.” Ray was afraid to breathe.

“No,” Fraser said evenly.

“Oh,” Ray answered, confused.

“Not as such.”

Say what?

Fraser took pity on him. With a sigh, Fraser focused on Ray and caught his eyes. “I think the preferred category is bisexual.” Fraser didn’t look happy with that explanation.

“Huh?” Ray said intelligently.

“I have always been drawn to men, but not exclusively. It’s true that I have only loved one woman, but I have succumbed to female charms now and again; it just never led anywhere. I’m afraid my—I’m not very good at relationships.”

Ray just looked at Fraser. How could he have not known this about his friend? His supposed best friend?

“Is that a problem for you, Ray?” Fraser asked softly and Ray thought that the admission must’ve been harder for him than it had appeared.

“No… no, course not,” Ray said with a shy smile. This was weird. And he was used to a lot of weird, but this was something else.

“Are you sure? You seemed to feel…” Fraser licked his lips, trying to be careful. “Very strongly about the issue.”

“It wasn’t about the gay thing… just… guys get a reputation for this kind of thing and I was damned if I let them make fun of us for doing our job,” Ray explained, not entirely convinced. He had been enraged because it was meant as an insult and Ray didn’t allow anyone to walk all over him. Especially not all over Fraser.

The funny thing was it was only an insult as long as it wasn’t true. Saying “going undercover at a gay bar? Enjoy ogling the asses while you’re at it” probably didn’t mean much if it was said to a gay guy who might just do that… right?

Fraser looked dubiously at him and Ray really, really didn’t have the faintest how to put all of his crazy thoughts into words.

“Let’s get this show on the road, huh?” he said, unnaturally bright.

Fraser nodded, looking relieved but still a far cry from happy.

So… Ray kept his gaze focused on the road ahead as he navigated the GTO through the semi-busy streets of Friday night Chicago.

It was an almost palpable itch to turn his head and look at Fraser, but Ray resisted the impulse. He didn’t want Fraser to think that Ray was still trying to wrap his mind around this latest development. Ray wanted Fraser to think he was cool with it—hell, Ray was cool with this. It was just… unexpected.

Fraser was into guys. Huh, go figure. And here Ray had thought Fraser was more or less asexual—and how could he not have noticed that? He was a cop, noticing little details like that was what he got paid for, for God’s sake. But Fraser hadn’t been staring after nicely-built guys… then again he hadn’t spent a lot of time staring at women either.

Ray saw the neon lights of the club loom at the end of the street. How should they play this? They could go in as a couple he supposed, and Ray had to bite his tongue to keep from chuckling like a lunatic. Yeah, like hell they could.

From the corner of his eye he took in Fraser’s tense posture, rigid-straight, not a hair out of place. Ray didn’t think anybody would buy them holding hands let alone that they had the hots for each other.

“I think it would be best if people did not associate us with each other,” Fraser said quietly. His voice sounded a little rusty as if he had absolutely no spit left to talk with and Ray felt kinda bad for making Fraser worry about this.

“It’ll be easier to verify statements and to get into contact with people if we both went in on our own.”

Sensible Fraser. Trust the guy to never lose his head even if he just outed himself to his partner—his partner who didn’t do such a good job of reassuring him that this was okay.

“Fraser, listen,” Ray paused, trying to come up with a good explanation. “I didn’t handle this too well and I’m sorry, okay? I’m all right with this. And thank you, you know… for telling me.”

Fraser released a tiny sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear it, Ray. I can understand if you think this changes things—”

Ray didn’t even let him finish.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence! It doesn’t change anything—you’re my best friend, nothing’s going to change that.”

Fraser gave him a shy pleased smile and Ray resolutely squashed that little niggling voice at the back of his head that asked if really nothing had changed. Because this sure felt like something.

Ray parked the car a block away and gave Fraser a head start of a few minutes before he followed. He noticed that his palms were slightly sweaty and tried not to examine this feeling too closely because if he didn’t know better he would say that he was nervous about going to a gay club.

With a deep breath, Ray pushed open the door to the club and followed another guy down the black stairs that led to a glossy black table of some modern or puke-induced design that apparently already came equipped with a bouncer.

Ray swallowed a little nervously. It was ridiculous, but he almost expected the guy to take one look at Ray and tell him to back off, gays only.

He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel insulted when no protest came from the bouncer and the guy at the counter collected Ray’s ten bucks with a flirty smile and no comment on Ray’s obvious heterosexuality.

Guys, guys, and more guys. Ray had been to a lot of clubs in his time, but he couldn’t remember feeling anything like this. He half expected to find a stage with poles and female strippers in the middle of this mass of people there were so many guys in this room.

At least his expectations weren’t disappointed. Much.

There was a stage. And there were poles on it. Only the dancers were also male—and, hell, they could move. Ray stared a little awed at the fluently moving bodies. He felt watched and scanned the crowd as unobtrusively as he could. Fraser was looking at him from the other side of the stage, a worried frown on his tense face.

Ray smiled a little and shrugged, looking to everyone else like someone just getting rid of some tension, but Fraser got the message. He relaxed a little and moved further into the crowd.

Ray looked around the room. This really took some getting used to. He would’ve preferred to keep to the sidelines of the action at least for a while, but this wouldn’t work at all well with their investigation unless… Ray grinned. Yeah, unless.

He sauntered up to the bar and ordered a beer. The guy tending the bar looked a little harassed like all waiters at all bars at rush hour, but managed a friendly smile at Ray anyway. Ray felt a little jolt as he reached a decision and then he smiled back, making it a really lingering smile.

The guy stopped with Ray’s money in his hand and seemed to take him in with renewed interest.

“Say, could you use a hand behind the bar?” Ray asked.

Dark eyes crinkled with mischief and a sultry smile came out to play. “Sorry, no action during working hours, company policy.”

Ray felt the heat stealing up his neck. He hadn’t meant… damn it. He tried to recover as smoothly as he could.

“Too bad, what about some actual help tending the bar?”

“You’re interested? Cool. God knows I could do with some help. You’d have to ask Philly over there,” he pointed to a rather tall black man with short curly hair in an expensive-looking suit.

“Thanks,” Ray said and mustered another smile. He hadn’t felt this out of his depth going undercover on a drug bust—and one should think that acting a junkie would’ve been a lot more awkward than frequenting a gay bar.

The difference was, Ray mused as he swam his way through the crowd on the dance floor over to the DJ booth where ‘Philly’ was overlooking the action, that with the junkie gig he took on a completely different persona; different name, background, life story. It was more about getting into character than acting itself.

This here, well, this was pretty much Ray as he came in the basic version. So it was really Ray smiling at other guys and noticing guys giving him speculative looks, and that was just something that Ray had never thought would happen in his life.

Ray had no idea what Philly was looking for in a gay bartender, but Ray’d been to enough clubs to know what you needed to work a bar. So Ray got out his best people skills and tried to remember how a dazzling smile worked and approached Philly with a self-assured swagger in his step.

Philly – and Ray wondered if that was supposed to be an endearing version for Philip… at least Ray hoped so – noticed him before Ray had even reached him. Gotcha, Ray thought. Maybe he did know how to play this game after all… after a second of consideration Ray thought he should probably be scared by that.

“ _Mhhh_ , my, my,” Philly said with a faint smile. “The last time a wild thing like you came at me with such purpose in his eyes we had a fire in one of the backrooms. What’s burning you?”

Philly’s dark soft voice made it sound like a purr.

“I’d like to work here,” Ray said with a careless shrug.

“Is that so?” Philly’s look turned speculative. “Do you have particular—qualities?” the word rolled from his lips like a drop of water spilling over the rim of a glass.

“Many,” Ray grinned outrageously figuring that more was more here. “But the only one you’d probably pay me for would be tending bar.”

“Oh, don’t be so sure about that,” Philly murmured with an amused smile. “But if I can’t interest you in something more personal I’ll take what I can get. Let’s see what those qualities are, yes?”

Ray was glad that Philly had already walked past him to cross the dance floor in the direction of the bar so that his flush didn’t register.

He’d never been hit on by a guy before. Somehow he had expected it to be weirder than this.

“Jack?” Philly called to the dark-haired man behind the bar. “Meet—I’m sorry, you must’ve neglected to tell me your name?”

“It’s Stanley. Stanley Smith,” Ray said, trying not to sound sour. He could still hear Fraser arguing with him: _But, Ray, it makes sense to keep a name you would unconsciously react to if we don’t have enough time to prepare our characters_.

Characters? Ray had wanted to shout. As far as Ray knew Fraser felt at home here like the proverbial fish in the sea. And Ray sure as hell would’ve liked to have a character to play. Just that no one had thought it was necessary. After all, Ray could be Ray – he just had to pretend not to be fazed by guys hitting on him…. which in all honesty Ray hadn’t even anticipated to happen.

“Stanley, this is Jack Johnson. Stanley here is going to give you a hand tonight, Jack. Be nice to him and don’t bite—I know,” Philly sighed a little wistfully, “it might be hard to resist. I’ll keep an eye out to see how he does.”

Ray felt another flash of heat shoot over his face.

Jack winked at him.

Ray felt seriously out of his depth here. Playing a junkie had been a piece of cake. At least he had been someone else then.

Behind Jack’s shoulder Ray suddenly noticed Fraser standing with his back against the wall, watching him with a confused look. Ray gave him a half-nod hoping it translated into _all is going according to plan_.

Okay… Ray took a look around the bar. At least this was something Ray knew. So Ray set to work.

The first time a guy really flirted with Ray it took him so much by surprise that his reaction was rather embarrassing. The guy seemed to find Ray’s stammer cute or something—heh, cute. Ray’d never been found ‘cute’ before.

After a while, Ray relaxed a little. Because once you got over the initial weirdness it was more or less the same pattern Ray was used to… except women usually didn’t try to pick him up and instead left all the work to him.

It was fun even. Ray knew enough about tending bar to know that a friendly smile helped you a long way. So Ray worked that smile a little and what do you know, now and again a guy would wink or nod appreciatively or offer to buy him a drink. This guy thing appeared to be a lot less work than dating chicks.

He kept an eye out for Fraser. Not too hard to do because the Mountie looked just as much out of place as he did in any other club. It didn’t deter the guys though, just as little as it had mattered to the ladies anywhere else.

The first time Fraser came to the bar to order a drink another man sidled up to him with a winning smile. Ray took his time mixing the martini someone had ordered; this he had to see. He’d expected Fraser to tug at his collar, make some polite excuse, and then look for the nearest corner in which to vanish. Just like he always did when some woman tried to make nice with him.

Ray almost dropped the vodka bottle in shock when Fraser did none of those things. Fraser turned with a politely inquiring look and once he had taken in the guy that had addressed him— he smiled. Just like that.

“Would you tell me your name? With a face like that I’d like to remember the name that goes along with it,” the blond man said.

“Of course, it’s Ben,” Fraser said.

The man smiled knowingly. “Just Ben? No last name to go along with it?”

Fraser’s blue eyes sparkled, amused. “Does it matter?”

And the man shook his head with a suddenly shy grin.

Ray stared motionlessly into the martini glass in front of him. He hadn’t—he just hadn’t thought—because suddenly he realized one thing: this wasn’t a new situation for Fraser. It might be one for Ray and he might not be used to being hit on by other guys, but Fraser sure was. This wasn’t the first time he had introduced himself like that. No way.

Fraser was a lousy liar and this came way too natural to him to be the first time. Which meant Fraser had practice. And Ray could really picture it, in a way. Fraser was a private kind of guy and he was probably careful about letting people know about his life—and this way he didn’t. And he didn’t even have to lie about it.

Ray shook himself out of his trance as one of the customers waved a ten dollar bill in his face to get on with his drink. Fraser hadn’t even noticed Ray’s confusion; he was deep in conversation with the man who didn’t need last names.

Fraser was kind of sweet about this gig—almost insultingly so. Since Ray’s outburst Fraser obviously believed that Ray had some kind of personal issue with his image or something so the man actually had the nerve to ask Ray again and again throughout the night if he was all right and how he was holding up.

Fraser did it in a really sneaky way, too, and Ray was kinda impressed how unobtrusive Fraser could be—then again working at the Canadian Consulate was probably the best practice for being inconspicuous. Still, Fraser drew a lot of attention—even worse than he usually did in his dress reds—and even Jack seemed to be interested in the dark-haired stranger with the baby blue eyes who smiled charmingly whenever he ordered another water.

How could Fraser even think that Ray wasn’t all right with this?

Of course Ray was all right. For God’s sake, the only difference was that the guys in this club fucked other men. So what? Ray didn’t have to do that so of course he was fine. Okay, watching two men kiss took some getting used to. It wasn’t disgusting or anything, just… weird.

Ray had also no idea how gay men could tell if someone else was gay or not on a daily basis. Sure, there were a few flaming queens in this joint, but there were also a lot of regular-looking guys. Men that could’ve worked in a bank or any white-collar office job and others that were hairy and built like a bear and looked as if they pulled trucks for a living and Ray wouldn’t have guessed that any of those were into guys.

Ray wondered if Fraser had a type for this kind of thing. Because a lot of different guys approached him and Fraser was the same smiling, talking stranger with all of them. It was so strange to see Fraser this calm. He got downright nervous the more direct the hunting female was, but with men he was… approachable.

But Fraser had said he wasn’t gay as such which meant he must’ve been interested in a few women in the past—and there was the Victoria chick, Ray knew that much. And the bounty hunter, Ray hadn’t imagined Fraser’s interest there. Lady Shoes also managed to get a kiss out of him so Fraser definitely had his fair share of female experiences.

…had Fraser even slept with another man? ‘Cause sure, he’d said he looked both ways, but from what Ray could tell he didn’t do much with the women. It was a good question therefore, if his interest in men was also more philosophical than physical. Ray really couldn’t picture it; Fraser having sex with another dude? He’d had trouble imagining Fraser and a girl, thinking about him and another guy was almost ridiculous.

But if he didn’t sleep with men then not for want of offers that much was sure. Ray got an uneasy tension in his gut whenever Fraser vanished out of his sight. He couldn’t really explain it either.

It was probably just fear that Fraser would get himself into trouble and Ray wouldn’t be there to watch out for him.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

_~*~_

_Fraser strained against his bonds. He had to get out of here. The rope chafed against his wrists as he tried to free himself._

_“Keep him quiet,” the dark-haired man snapped._

_The other man looked uncertainly from Fraser to the man who had spoken and back. He unfolded a package of white powder on the table and he gripped Fraser’s head tightly before he pushed his face right into the layer of white._

_~*~_

It was already really late and the crowd at the club had thinned considerably when Ray finally found some time to wipe the bar down.

“How long does the shift of a bartender at this establishment last?” The voice sent a sudden heat wave licking at Ray’s heart. Jesus!

He raised his head a little too fast and found Fraser seated at the bar watching him with an intimate kind of smile. It wasn’t any smile Ray had ever seen before on his partner and after a second it hit him that this was probably one of Fraser’s flirty smiles.

“Uh, I couldn’t really say. It’s my first night on and I’m not sure how long they’re going to keep me,” Ray explained, desperately groping for his equilibrium. He saw Jack moving closer from out of the corner of his eyes.

“I was thinking about staying a little longer. But,” Fraser took a long sweeping look around the room. “I’m not sure if it will be worth it. What do you think?”

Jesus, Ray thought. _Jesus_. He couldn’t meet those blue eyes when Fraser was coming on to him—supposedly coming on to him, Ray amended hastily. Fraser was just doing his low-key communication thing again. They should’ve settled how they wanted to wrap this thing up before they went in. It would make sense to take Fraser back home… bring Fraser back to the Consulate… but Ray honestly had no idea how many hours more they would keep him.

“It looks like tonight is almost over already,” Ray said with a shrug, hoping he looked casual. “You probably won’t miss anything—” Ray said, thinking that Fraser wouldn’t be mad at him for having to walk home.

“No, stay. I’m sure we can spring Stanley early tonight—it being his first night and everything,” Jack suddenly appeared at Ray’s shoulder with an easy-going smile. Fraser returned the smile. “I’m glad to hear it. I might just take another look around. You’ll probably find me somewhere over there,” Fraser told Ray, pointing towards a row of cozy tables in the back of the club.

“Yeah… sure…” Ray mumbled, watching Fraser leave.

Jack elbowed him in the kidneys. “Are you insane? Eye-candy here almost slipped through your fingers.”

“Eye-candy?” Ray intoned with a disbelieving look.

Jack grinned. “Man, you don’t turn a guy like him down. Let’s face it: you and me? We just aren’t in the same league as him. If a guy like that wants to take you home you better jump at the chance.”

Ray felt heat creeping up his neck. This was Fraser he was talking about—his partner! The guy Ray saw everyday of the week, every week of the year. And now Jack thought that he and Fraser were…

“You can thank me next time. The way Philly is smiling you’ll be back to work the bar.”

“Thanks, Jack,” Ray said for lack of a better response.

Half an hour later Philly congratulated Ray on his new job and allowed him to call it a night. Ray ambled over to where Fraser was sitting, primly sipping water from a tall glass. He felt his heart beat faster and immediately felt foolish. This was Fraser and Ray was only driving them home—just because it looked to Jack as if Ray was taking Fraser home for a fuck didn’t mean that Ray had to go all high school about it.

Appearances, Ray thought, keep up appearances for another 5 minute and then you’re outta here.

“Hello again,” Ray said and he was damned if his mouth was dry. “I understood you’d be willing to get out of here?”

Fraser smiled at him. “I’d like that very much.”

Ray swallowed. He had had no idea how unnerving it was to have Fraser flirt with him. More importantly, Ray reminded himself, there was no flirting going on. It was all just pretend.

He jingled his keys. “I could help you with your get-away.”

Fraser raised his glass and drained it in one long swallow. “Lead the way.”

The talk on the way back was strictly business. Ray felt too shaken up to discuss his first ever foray into the gay scene or how all the guys thought Fraser was the hottest thing they’d seen in ages or how Ray had felt mostly all right with being in a gay club.

One thing you could count on, though, was that Fraser loved talking work. All Ray had to do was prompt him and Fraser filled the whole drive to the Consulate relating to Ray what he had picked up over the course of the night—which wasn’t much. There was no reason to assume the club dealt in drugs. That was about the same conclusion Ray had come to.

Ray pulled up at the curb of the Consulate. “You ready to go there again tomorrow?” Ray asked.

Fraser nodded. “Well, given a few hours of sleep beforehand; it should fortify me for another night out,” he said with a smile and Ray wondered if Fraser had just made a joke.

“Do you think you’ll get any sleep?” Ray glanced at the dark Consulate windows. Somehow he couldn’t see how Fraser managed a good night’s sleep in his office.

Fraser rubbed his eyebrow. “There is a meeting with a company representative at around 8 AM, but I am sure I will manage sufficient sleep until then.”

Ray frowned at his watch. Bullshit. No guy could function properly with that little sleep. And he didn’t care if Fraser made do with 30-second power naps walking down stairs; he’d done good work and sacrificed his night for it and he would have to do it again tomorrow— the least he deserved was a couple of hours of decent sleep.

“That’s it,” Ray exclaimed and turned the wheel to take the car back onto the road. He supposed he was making a major mistake here and wondered if this was just another effort on his part to prove that they were still buddies, but he was doing it anyway.

“Ray, where are we going?”

“We’re going back to my place so that you can get a decent amount of shut-eye.”

“I’m not putting you out of your bed,” Fraser said, in a tone that sounded as if he was trying to forestall a later argument.

“Who said I’m letting you into my bed?” Ray grinned like a wolf and this time Ray had the pleasure of seeing the discomfort on Fraser’s face at the unintended double-entendre. “Relax, you can take the couch if you want to be all noble about it.”

“Thank you,” Fraser said softly and Ray felt another pang at what little creature comfort Fraser was used to. Fraser’s picture was next to the dictionary entry for ‘to make do’ and that unleashed a short burst of anger on his friend’s behalf.

“You don’t need to thank me for it,” Ray mumbled as he concentrated on changing lanes.

Seeing Fraser get comfortable on Ray’s ratty old couch made him smile. It felt like a sort of victory.

“Good night, Frase,” Ray murmured.

“Good night, Ray.”

Later that night, Ray stumbled out of bed to take a leak. When he came back from the bathroom he remembered that Fraser was sleeping on his couch. He only hesitated a second before he slid closer. He only wanted a quick look at him. Fraser slept on the couch as if it were a narrow cot. Ray shook his head. Somebody had to teach Fraser to indulge a little now and again.

His features were relaxed and one hand was half tucked under his pillow, sort of cradling his face. Ray smiled.

Quietly, he moved back and turned around to go back into his bedroom. At least he could now tell Jack what Fraser looked like when he slept, Ray thought with a grin.

Something was seriously wrong with him.

The next night, Ray was already installed behind the bar by the time Fraser arrived. Still, his entrance was kinda hard to miss… or maybe Ray was just attuned to the whereabouts of his partner. A faint smile played over Fraser’s lips when he caught sight of Ray.

The Saturday night crowd was much like the one from last night; bit rowdier maybe. A good night’s sleep after a week of busting your ass could do that to you. Ray tried to keep an eye on Fraser, but it was the hardest part of the job, what with the club being so packed and everyone dying of thirst and Ray simultaneously trying to listen in on what people were talking about around him.

He did manage to spot Fraser now and again and Fraser seemed to take this ‘talk to people’ part of the assignment very seriously. There was always some guy attached to him and Ray wondered again how Fraser did it. Like some kind of freaky magnet.

“Seen something you like?” Jack asked, amused, right next to Ray’s ear.

Ray snapped his gaze away from Fraser. “Hardly,” Ray shoved past Jack.

“Aw, c’mon, you can’t fool me. Your eyes have been following him around ever since you clapped eyes on him yesterday. Can’t say I blame you.” Jack studied Fraser and the guy that seemed to be draped all over him. Jack made a sympathetic sound. “I’m guessing last night didn’t work out then?”

He should feel lucky that his keeping watch over Fraser was taken for interest, Ray supposed. It only made him angry though.

“Last night was fine,” Ray pressed out.

Jack made a commiserating noise. “Yeah, I’ve been there… don’t take it too hard, okay? Guys like him aren’t looking for anyone to settle down with.” Jack patted him on the shoulder and moved past Ray to the next waiting customer.

Ray watched him go. Bullshit. That wasn’t like Fraser at all.

But the longer Ray thought about it the harder the question came back to him: Wasn’t it?

He washed a cocktail glass in the sink and pondered Jack’s comment. Fraser sure as hell wasn’t settling down in Chicago. But that was because Fraser wanted to go back to Canada at some point. That thought always felt like a piece of shrapnel hiding somewhere near his heart and taking vicious stabs at it. Did Fraser even have a life to go back to there? Really?

Ray tried to get his head back on track. The job, focus on the job. But try as he might he didn’t notice anything that looked like a drug deal. One word, though, jumped out of the murmur of conversations. ‘The Push.’

And Ray might not have paid it any attention if people on Friday hadn’t also talked about it. But people talking about ‘needing a push after a slow week at the office’ or people ‘getting a little push’ on a Friday night hadn’t seemed all that strange to Ray. Hey, he’d been there. Especially right after the divorce. He’d been looking for something to push him through it all, something to take the edge off his misery.

It was Saturday now and this was the second day in a row that the word kept popping up and let’s be honest there weren’t that many people who’d call a night out or a one-night stand ‘a push.’ Which got Ray thinking that maybe they were talking about something else.

Ray was distracted by Jack, flinging open cupboards and looking into the fridge as if it held the answer to life itself. Ray took in the harassed look on his face and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s up?” Ray asked. Jack glanced nervously around.

“I forgot to stock up on the imported champagne,” Jack admitted.

Ray didn’t get it. “So?” He asked with a frown. “Can’t we just go and do it now?”

“You don’t know Philly… he’s going to have my head. I was supposed to do that before we opened tonight and I simply forgot. If he catches me—after he specifically told me to take care of it—boy, I’ll lose my job.”

“Aren’t you exaggerating a little?” Ray asked with a glance at Philly’s smiling profile at the back of the club.

Jack shook his head energetically. “No way. You don’t get to make mistakes here. The last guy got fired because he sliced a lemon the wrong way.”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

Jack shrugged. “Might be, but with the kind of money they’re paying they can afford it.”

Ray spent a wistful moment thinking of the paychecks made out to one ‘Stanley Smith’ that Ray would never be able to cash.

“Let me get it,” Ray said. “I’m good at this kinda thing. Just tell me where to find it and what I’m looking for.” Besides, Ray needed a look around and this seemed to be his ticket for a free tour.

Jack bit at his lip and then he nodded—as Ray knew he would. What choice did he have?

“Okay, there’s a storage room downstairs at the back of the garage. Just go through the doorway with the black curtain and walk right through until you reach the stairs. Here’s the key—you can’t miss it. The crates are black and gold; they’re stacked right behind the door.”

Ray nodded. Time to take a look around; please follow the man with the red umbrella. Ray shouldered an empty cardboard box and moved into the hallway that led to the backrooms. A private toilet and three more doors greeted Ray. He glanced around and tried the first one. Okay, so Ray had found the storeroom for the empty bottles. He pulled the door closed again and moved on.

Bingo, Ray breathed as he came to the next door. The simple brushed metal doorknob was locked with the help of a small panel demanding a PIN code. This might be worth investigating a little more closely.

The last door gave way to a crowded office. Shelves with thick folders and stacks of order forms filled the whole claustrophobic room. There might also be something in here, Ray supposed, but he didn’t know how he should find the time to look through all this stuff.

Smuggling all of it out was equally preposterous. Ray closed the door again and followed the corridor to the stairs at the end. Right at the bottom of the stairs were two doors. Ray tried the one to his left and found the room he should’ve been looking for.

The crates Jack had mentioned were easy enough to find. Ray transferred the bottles to the box he had brought with him and left the room again. He thought he knew where the other door would lead, but opened it anyway just to make sure. Yep, the garage. And if he judged correctly from what little he could make out the entrance of the garage led up the street along the right-hand side of the club.

He shifted the crate to his other arm and reached out to open the door again when he heard a loud ‘thump’ followed by shuffling feet.

“ _Ahhh_ ,” a man cried out. “Do you always have to be so rough?” The same voice demanded. More scribbling against a surface followed before another voice replied. “Yeah, because you love it.”

Ray’s heart rate sped up as he realized what those two must be doing. He looked around wildly and then he saw them, half-hidden behind the red sports car on the far side of the garage. He saw the look of pained concentration on the face of the dark-haired man as he leaned over someone with a slighter frame who was trying to brace himself against the hood of the car. Ray swallowed. The sound of flesh on flesh was almost obscenely loud in the echoing darkness of the garage.

Away, he had to get away here, Ray thought wildly. He turned around, unable to tear his gaze away, and promptly stumbled into a half-empty trash can.

The metal clanged loudly when it connected with the concrete wall behind him and Ray cursed as the sound echoed around the room.

“Shit!”

“Go, go, we need to get out of here.”

Ray could hear the hasty rustling of clothes and in a flash two dark figures stumbled towards the mouth of the garage. Ray took a deep breath and collected himself. So what, he had just caught two guys fucking. What was the big deal? More than one of Ray’s buddies had boasted about similar adventures with girls. He smoothed down his shirt and moved back up the stairs.

When Ray came back up he found Jack looking worriedly at him and then back at Philly who had sidled up to the bar.

“Stanley, I don’t think I pay you for your absence,” Philly said with a silky smile.

“You’d rather people use your garage as a public darkroom?” Ray shot back. He let the crate slide down his arm and pushed it underneath the bar without taking his eyes off Philly.

“Excuse me?” The black man said with narrowed eyes.

“I just moved a crate of empty bottles into storage, thinking it doesn’t look so good if the bar is cluttered with empty stuff. And when I came out I heard two guys getting it on downstairs,” Ray narrated as unfazed as he could. “When I opened the door to the garage I found them having a nice horizontal discussion on a red sports car.”

Philly’s eyes widened with dread. “A red one you say?” _Heh_ , Ray thought. He guessed he had just found the owner of the abused car.

“Yep. I thought you probably wouldn’t want news to get out that the garage of your establishment is used as a meeting place for sex so I sent them packing.” Well, he had done that… if not intentionally.

Philly nodded with tightly pressed lips. “I don’t want to find you missing from your post again. I’ll be right back,” he sniffed.

Ray watched Philly go and grinned at Jack who thumped him on the shoulder. Hard.

“For real? Two guys fucked on Philly’s beloved car? God, he’ll probably pop a vessel if he finds a handprint.”

“He can count himself lucky if he doesn’t find more,” Ray said with a dirty smirk. “They sounded… thorough.”

Jack cackled and opened the box Ray had brought up with him. “Stan, you are really something else.”

Ray winked at him and turned around to open the fridge. He looked up and found Fraser watching him intently. Ray couldn’t read the look and he had no idea if Fraser had witnessed the banter between him and Jack or if Fraser had found some information and that was the reason he was studying him so closely.

Ray raised his eyebrows at him and Fraser was startled out of his observation. A small smile flitted over his lips and he shook his head the tiniest increment before he moved away, vanishing into the crowd again.

When the club was beginning to empty, Fraser thumbed his nose and followed a few others out of the door. Ray sighed a little, another night of work almost done.

“What? Are you still hung up on him? Boy, you’re a hopeless case.”

Ray jerked and looked at Jack with a confused frown between his brows. He looked back in the direction of the exit when his mind finally caught up with him.

“It’s not what you think,” Ray explained truthfully.

Jack looked thoughtful for a second. “Tell me, what is it about him that fascinates you so damn much – besides the good looks, I mean one would have to be blind not to notice. God, that ass alone—and those shoulders?”

Ray was momentarily startled. He had always considered Fraser good-looking, but he had never fixed that to tangible attributes… let alone giving Fraser’s ass much consideration.

“Uh,” Ray scratched his head. “He’s just… he’s got all these ideals and he lives up to them even when life proves him wrong and… you know, he’s one of those people that make you wanna be a better person. Around him I feel like…” Ray shrugged a little awkwardly. “Like I belong.”

Jack’s grin softened as Ray talked.

“You got all of that from one night?” He shook his head with a hopeless smile. “Sounds like you’ve got it bad,” Jack assessed with a half-smile. “Okay, c’mon. Let’s get this mess cleaned up and then we can go home as well.”

Ray ambled in the direction of the Goat and was halted in his tracks when he caught sight of Fraser, leaning against the side of the car.

“Hey,” Ray said, surprised. Fraser’s smile was like a flash in the dim lighting of the alley. “Thanks for waiting.”

“My pleasure. Shall we?” Fraser motioned at the GTO.

Ray navigated them through the more or less quiet streets. Should he offer Fraser another night on his couch? Fraser could sure as hell use the sleep and driving to the Consulate was a detour anyway. Besides, Ray was tired and if Fraser slept at his place the sooner he could crash. Ray’s mouth was dry. It wasn’t as if he was offering his bed or anything… and Fraser didn’t have any interest in him like that, he’d know that.

Maybe Ray just wasn’t attractive for someone who was into chicks and guys? But Fraser had said he found him attractive… but that had just been Fraser being polite, right? Although… Fraser didn’t lie. Still—

“I think I might have found a lead tonight,” Fraser interrupted Ray’s train of thought.

“Huh? What? Shoot.”

“It might be advisable to continue this conversation tomorrow. We are almost at the Consulate and I wouldn’t want to keep you awake,” Fraser said, sounding regretful.

“You could crash at my place again? I could make coffee and you could talk?” Ray was not asking him up for coffee, he was not. This was just being buddies.

“I’d be happy to, if you are quite sure that I am not inconveniencing you,” Fraser replied earnestly.

“Don’t be stupid. There’s nothing more than turtle waiting for me back home and even turtle is probably glad to see another face every now and again.”

Fraser’s lips twitched. “Understood.”

Once settled on Ray’s battered couch, Fraser summed his evening up.

“People have been very careful about what they say, but I have been asked – on multiple occasions, mind you – if I was able to give them a ‘push’.”

Ray swallowed his sudden exasperation at the thought that it was probably a wonder Fraser had even caught on to this what with all the offers he was getting thrown in his face.

“I know this could have been a simple euphemism,” Fraser continued and Ray looked blankly at him for a second, forming the word ‘euphemism’ in his mind.

“However, over the course of the conversation I established that it was in fact not intercourse they were looking for.”

Ray choked on his coffee. He coughed until he had enough air to ask, “You established that, huh?”

“Well, at least that was not their primary focus. I think most people were actually seeing a connection between intercourse and getting ‘pushed’.”

“Could you please stop saying ‘intercourse’?” Ray snapped. Bad enough that he was sitting on his couch with Fraser talking about the people who came on to him, no, Fraser also had to do one better and call it ‘intercourse’— Ray shuddered inwardly.

“Of course, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t make me—hell, just forget it. So what is it with this ‘Push’? Because I also heard people discussing it all night. And it’s definitely nothing we have stocked behind the bar.”

Fraser rubbed his eyebrow with an unhappy look on his face. “I can’t be sure on this point; however, it seemed to me that it gets distributed by the guests of the club, which would explain people asking me if I knew where they could get it.”

Ray wasn’t so sure if it wasn’t more the fact that people were just hoping Fraser would screw them afterwards, too.

“How I understood it this drug, if that is indeed what it is, numbs most of the nervous system offering a feeling very much like floating while enhancing certain, ah, stimuli—which would explain why most people I talked to seemed to consider inter—sex the other half of the experience.”

People wanted a drugged sex adventure with Fraser—Fraser! Who didn’t even drink alcohol. But what did Ray know? Maybe Fraser only didn’t drink around him. After all Ray hadn’t thought Fraser was picking up strangers for one-night stands, but from the way things were looking this was only true in Ray’s fairy tale book.

“Okay, so we know what to ask after now. Let’s see if we find someone who sells the stuff the next time.”

“Exactly my thoughts, Ray,” Fraser smiled at him.

Ray took another sip of his lukewarm coffee and they were both quiet for a moment.

“Ray,” Fraser began carefully, biting his lip. Ray sighed into his coffee mug. All good things came to an end.

“You seem very much at ease with our current assignment.”

Ray shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“If I recall correctly you had some misgivings about frequenting this kind of establishment.”

The coffee mug made a soft ‘thump’ when Ray placed it back on the table. “Listen, I said I was okay with this and I am. It’s just new to me, is all, and I was nervous about it, all right?”

“And, are you still nervous?” Fraser asked gently.

Ray made a so-so gesture with his hand and laughed ruefully. “Nah, I’m good with this. It’s just a lot of stuff I never thought about and I’m… kind of a curious guy so it trips me a little.”

“I see. I’m glad you’re adjusting so well. I was… I was afraid it would change things between us.”

Ray shook his head fondly. “Hey, we’re partners. I’m just learning to look a little differently at things… how did you, uh, figure it out?”

“That I’m drawn to men?”

Ray felt Fraser’s blue eyes on him and felt nervous all over again. Fraser was so casual about this while Ray’s brain was on overdrive coming up with a million ‘hows’: how would it feel to kiss a guy, touch a guy, fuck a guy?

“Yeah,” Ray licked his dry lips.

Fraser shook his head with a small smile. “It was just always there. If you grow up in communities as small as my own the men are usually in the majority so you tend to notice them. I never thought it was strange. I just caught myself imagining how it would be to kiss Innusiq and then other boys and men later.”

“Is it different?” Ray blurted.

“Kissing a man?” Fraser asked, puzzled.

Ray nodded.

Fraser’s smile was inward, directed at some fond memory that Ray had no access to.

“Yes, yes I suppose it is. It’s difficult to describe,” Fraser raised his shoulders in apology.

Ray wanted to reply, but instead of words a yawn forced its way out.

“I suppose this means we are long overdue for a good night’s sleep,” Fraser murmured, amused.

Ray nodded in approval, forcing another yawn down.

Ray dreamed he was kissing Stella and her hair was longer than it was now, like it was when they were younger, the way it was when they got married. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, but her hand pushed him away and she frowned at him, telling him he was doing it wrong.

Before he could ask her what she meant, she pulled him close again. Only then it was all different because he was falling and suddenly there was water everywhere and he wanted to tell her that he was about to drown, but when he opened his eyes Fraser was right there in front of him and he pulled him close with the same gesture Stella had used a moment ago.

And then Fraser was kissing him and all of a sudden Ray could breathe again which made no sense because Fraser’s tongue was still in his mouth and they were still underwater.

An alarm went off, resonating through the hold of the ship, and he was pretty sure that it wasn’t a good thing, but it didn’t really matter because Fraser’s arms were around him and then Fraser pushed him back and Ray went with the momentum, he fell back—

—and was startled awake as he fell to the floor next to his bed, the alarm on his night stand blaring its monotonous warning that he had to get up.

Jesus. Ray wiped a hand over his face. _Jesus_.

Looking Fraser in the face wasn’t the easiest thing Ray had ever done. He couldn’t remember how the kiss had felt, but the visual more than made up for that. Ray had never thought about kissing a guy before… well, okay there had been that slight crush on Steve McQueen, but Ray hadn’t imagined kissing him. Just that, well, that it looked kinda good when Steve kissed a girl or that he looked really fit. Fraser had looked really good in his dream, too. Was still looking good this morning, just like he always did.

“Is something wrong with my face?” Fraser asked, concerned. He touched his jaw as if he thought he had missed a spot when he shaved, but couldn’t find anything out of place.

Ray shook his head and hoped his face didn’t look as hot as it felt. “Uh, no, sorry… I was just… staring into space,” he mumbled.

The thought didn’t let go of Ray all week. While Fraser fulfilled his role as secretary, Ray tried to find more connections between the people who OD’ed on synthetic drugs, but it was more depressing than fruitful.

So while Ray pulled some strings with his old snitches from when he had worked for narcotics, and visited some haunts to talk to people, he tried to notice the men he saw on the street, tried to imagine what kissing them would be like.

He wasn’t above admitting that a man was attractive, but thinking about kissing any of them was just plain weird. Mostly he ended up thinking of his dream and of kissing Fraser… which should’ve been even weirder, but it didn’t freak Ray out as bad as he had thought.

Ray was shocked to realize how normal the _Skydeep_ felt by now when he came in for his shift on Friday night. He almost felt like a part of this scene, a regular, and maybe it really didn’t make all that much of a difference.

It was before midnight and there was a little lull at the bar when Ray broached the topic with Jack.

“The Push?” Jack looked a little uncomfortable and he quickly glanced in Philly’s direction before his gaze focused back on Ray. “Listen, there are drugs dealt in every club, okay? It’s not something we offer, it’s just impossible to nail someone selling it. Me? I keep clear of shit like that. But…” Jack hesitated again before he stepped closer.

“Listen, remember when ‘poppers’ were really popular in the 70s and 80s? This stuff is similar, okay? You get this rush of warmth and weightlessness and it makes you almost dizzy with pent-up sensations—apparently the sex is spectacular with it— I wouldn’t know, but that’s it. People use it to have a good time.”

Ray nodded. It also fit the scene. Poppers had been immensely popular in the gay community, something about the increased heart rate sparking sexual arousal and the stuff apparently relaxed the muscles, made everything go lax.

But people didn’t OD on poppers – at least not as a rule, not with this frequency – and they sure did now.

“So it’s not dangerous?” Ray asked even though he knew the truth.

Jack shrugged. “As far as I know it isn’t. Guess you can take too much of anything, though—wait—you’re not thinking about trying it, are you?”

“Maybe… who would I ask?”

Jack contemplated Ray for the fraction of a second and Ray saw the suspicion in his glance. He could almost see the question written on his face ‘why the sudden interest’?

“I have no idea man and I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“Sure, no harm done. I just thought I could…” Ray shrugged and nodded in Fraser’s direction. “Make it more interesting.”

Jack’s eyes followed Ray’s gesture and his eyes widened slowly. Then he laughed and shook his head. “I really don’t believe you. Tell you what: you want to get his attention? There’s a guy sitting over there at the tap that’s been tracking your every move. I’m sure he’d be interested in more than just looking. Maybe a little competition is all that Baby Blues needs.”

Ray grinned. “Thanks for the sage advice, buddy.”

Jack patted him on the back. “You need all the advice you can get,” he chuckled and moved on to strike up a conversation with one of the other regulars at the bar.

Slowly, Ray flicked a glance over at the tap. Sure enough there was a blond man watching him. He wasn’t even bad looking, a little younger than Ray maybe, and a bit too smooth around the edges. His name was probably Steve and he had been the best pupil in his class in high school and he enjoyed tennis in his spare time or something.

Steve smiled at him when he noticed Ray’s attention. Okay, so the smile was nice.

Ray flicked a glance at Fraser and found him in conversation with yet another guy. He must’ve talked to every man in this club, Ray thought a little bitterly.

Putting up a playful half-smile, Ray approached the blond man. He wasn’t really going to do this, was he? It was just part of a role, an act, and there was nothing wrong with indulging in a little harmless flirting. Maybe Steve even knew something about this Push business... _You keep making excuses if it makes you feel better, Kowalski_ , Ray thought.

“You look like you’re waiting for something,” Ray addressed Steve with a smile.

“Yes, your attention,” Steve answered and Ray could count the teeth of that smile it was so bright.

“You got it. So what can I do for you?”

Steve’s lips twitched. “You could tell me your name.”

“It’s Stanley and who are you?”

“I’m Matt, nice to meet you.”

Matt, Steve, where was the diff?

The way Matt looked at him, the way his gaze zeroed in on Ray’s mouth, Ray figured he could find out how kissing a guy felt. Ray also figured he was too old to play chicken with himself, but that had never stopped him before either.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Ray asked, his heart already jumping around in his chest with nervousness.

“A beer would be nice. Is there one you can recommend?”

Ray grinned. Time to play. “Sure.”

He filled a glass from the tap and put it in front of Matt. Before Matt could drink, however, Ray raised the glass to his own lips and took a deep gulp. He set the glass down again and smiled at Matt. “It’s good. You want to try it?” Ray leaned forward the tiniest bit, bringing his face closer to Matt’s.

Eagerly, Matt leaned in as well and raised his hand to cup Ray’s head.

This was really happening, Ray thought with a twitch in his gut.

“Excuse me, I’m terribly sorry, but is it possible to order something to drink here?” a flat voice interrupted.

Ray jerked back and his head snapped in the direction of the speaker. Fraser was looking at him with a serious expression on his face.

“Sure,” Ray croaked, rattled. “What’s it going to be?” Why did he feel caught red-handed?

Fraser took a long look at the beer in front of Matt and Matt looked from one of them to the other and slid off the barstool with a mumbled ‘later’.

“I’d like a beer.”

Ray stared at Fraser. “Uh, sure.”

While Ray was busy pulling a pint, Fraser sidled a little closer. “Ray, there is some connection between this club and the distribution of the drug. Some people have been missing for hours or even a day after coming here and all of them have been known to take this drug.”

Ray put the beer in front of Fraser with such force that it sloshed over the rim. How dare Fraser act like it was just business as usual? Why had Ray even let it get to him?

“And that’s why you interrupted me?” Ray accused.

Fraser rubbed his eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware I was interrupting anything. You had already fulfilled that man’s drinking order when I spoke.”

Ray didn’t buy it. Not one bit. Fraser was the man with the bat ears and he had known very well what he was interrupting and now he couldn’t even own up to it.

“Do not do this, _Ben_ ,” Ray hissed. “I think I have work to do now,” Ray pressed out and left Fraser standing at the counter.

What was that? Fraser had to know that he was about to kiss Matt… so why had he stopped him? Jealousy, Ray thought with a short fierce burst of heat. But that was ridiculous. What else was there? Maybe this had been some sort of chivalric response, Fraser was weird like that. Maybe he had thought he was protecting Ray.

“And? Did it work out?” Jack asked while he opened the fridge.

Ray shrugged. “No idea, really.”

Jack shook his head. “You have a real masochistic streak falling for that guy, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed. “Seems that way.”

It came with being Fraser’s partner. So what was new?

An hour later, Philly came up to the bar.

“Hey, Stanley. It’s quiet tonight. Why don’t you go home early?”

“Sure,” Ray said, relieved.

He looked around and saw Fraser half-hidden behind the guy that had been talking his ear off for the better part of the last hour. Ray took his time cleaning the counter in front of him when he finally saw Fraser’s guy leaving for the can.

“I’ll just go grab my stuff,” Ray said to Jack who nodded. He left the bar at the farther side to pass Fraser on his way to the back rooms.

When he reached Fraser he dropped the key for his locker and spoke while he bent down to pick it up again. “Frase, let’s call this a night,” Ray said as quickly as he could. They had what they came here for and Ray for once could do with a little sleep.

“Right you are,” Fraser agreed in a murmur.

“I’ll just talk to Johnson again and then we can leave, all right?”

“Of course.” Ray moved to the back and grabbed his coat. He went back to the bar and settled the details for tomorrow night. By the time he turned to leave, Fraser’s companion had already returned.

He had just been about to signal that they could leave when Ray caught sight of Fraser. Kissing the living daylights out of the guy he’d been talking to for the last hour.

A jolt went through Ray, powerful enough to nail him to the floor like some sort of gravitation field. He felt his jaw drop open, but there was really little he could do about it. He just couldn’t look away—it was the proverbial accident waiting to happen.

And this was no innocent goodnight kiss either. Oh, hell no, Mister. Fraser had the other guy up against the wall, fingers splayed over his face, holding him there and that was one open-mouthed, wet infiltration by the Canadians. America never stood a chance. And it didn’t seem to care either judging by the grip the guy had on Fraser’s arms, as if it was all he could do to stay upright.

Surrender seemed to be one hell of a sweet deal.

Fraser was kissing a guy. Fraser. Kissing. A guy. Ray’s brain repeated the memo, but it didn’t make any more sense on the second run-through. And boy did Fraser enjoy it. Ray’d always thought Fraser just didn’t like all of the bodily stuff, too messy, too emotional, too uncontrolled. Well… think again, Detective. Because this kiss looked plenty physical.

And, yeah, he knew that Fraser had said he was also looking at guys once in a while. Ray wouldn’t call this looking, though. Not if looking also included tongue, teeth, lips and both hands. Fraser kissing. God, it baffled his brain.

How many guys had Fraser kissed so far? Was he getting off on it? Sheesh, of course he was, why was anyone ever kissing anyone else? Heat pooled in Ray’s groin. Fraser was really into this. And the guy he was doing it to could hardly stay upright Fraser was doing such a thorough job of it.

Ray wondered again. What was it like, kissing Fraser? Terrifyingly mind-blowing probably, just like everything else that man did. He had great lips; Ray had to give him that. How did one learn to kiss when one lived among the igloos? Who had Fraser’s first kiss belonged to? Had he kissed any guys when he’d been a teenager or had it been only wishful thinking?

Unconsciously, Ray’s tongue came out to wet his lips. The kiss seemed never-ending. Fraser always dove right back in and the other guy hardly let him get further away than an inch. This just buttered Ray’s muffin. You turn your back on the Mountie and the guy goes off, sticking his tongue down some stranger’s throat. Just great.

Didn’t Fraser think of Ray? And really, he didn’t even know the guy he was playing tonsil-hockey with. It could be some crazy maniac, some gun-wielding lunatic. Even guys wearing ‘The Clash’ t-shirts could be whack-jobs. And Fraser had nothing better to do than getting acquainted with his bronchia.

Fraser probably wasn’t thinking. Because if he were then he wouldn’t be kissing some stranger. Least of all some guy he had just met in a bar.

Ray walked past them and bumped the guy’s shoulder a little harder than necessary. “Oh, sorry,” Ray muttered with a glare in Fraser’s direction before he continued on his way to the exit.

Two minutes, Ray promised himself, he would give Fraser two minutes to make it out to the car or he would leave without him. Fraser made it with 10 seconds to spare.

Ray flung the car door open and got in and Fraser followed suit after a moment’s hesitation.

 

“Ray—” Fraser began.

“Oh, no, don’t you ‘Ray’ me,” Ray snapped, stabbing in his direction with two fingers. “Tell me, are we at this club to pick someone up, huh? No, we’re not. We’re there to work and what you did was not even on the same planet with work, you got that?”

“In point of fact you had just ended our shift a few minutes earlier in case you had forgotten. So I wasn’t working anymore,” Fraser bitched back.

 

“ _Ohhh_ , of course, so it’s okay for you to go around sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat, but I don’t get to make a move, is that it?” Ray hit the steering wheel with his open palm.

Fraser was quiet for a second before he answered.

 

“This isn’t about preventing you from doing anything. However, since our assignment has taken us into a gay club I would think it is a moot point to discuss whether you would theoretically be able to do the same—which you are free to do.”

 

“Damn it!” Ray snarled. “I’m—” But it was useless, he couldn’t bring himself to admit to Fraser that he had been thinking about kissing a man. “Fine,” Ray infused the word with more venom than it deserved. “I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

 

“I don’t understand why you are so mad at me, Ray,” Fraser said mildly.

 

Neither did Ray, really. It was just that seeing it had made it much more real—or maybe it was just because Ray hadn’t been too successful earlier and was using Fraser to get even. It just—it was unfair! Fraser was not supposed to kiss another guy when Ray was right there… argh… and that wasn’t at all what Ray had meant.

 

Or maybe it was… maybe he was just jealous because Fraser was his partner and in some way Ray felt as if he should have dibs or that if any guy had the right to kiss Fraser it should be him. He sure as hell deserved some consideration in this equation!

God, the hole he was digging for himself got deeper with every passing day.

He didn’t really want Fraser like that, did he?

 

“Just forget it,” Ray mumbled and turned the key in the ignition.

“Ray, I—”

“Can we please not talk? Just… let’s just get home, okay?”

Fraser was silent for a beat before a small sigh escaped him. “As you wish.”

 

**TBC**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay - time simply got the better of me

_~*~_

_Fraser held his breath for as long as he could, but the stone-like grip on his head didn’t lessen and at some point he had to take a breath. Desperately, he gasped for air._

_He almost choked as the white powder filled his lungs. At first it was pleasant; he felt almost high with it._

_Arousal whispered through his blood and Fraser felt a warm pulse inside, making his spine glow._

_~*~_

By next afternoon Ray felt that he had his identity crisis more or less back under control. He dropped by the Canadian Consulate with a peace offering of pizza and found Fraser pleasantly surprised and Dief already salivating in anticipation.

Ray crouched down to ruffle his fur. “Hey, furface, long time no see. You’d rather hang out with us, too, huh?”

Dief yipped in agreement and wagged his tail.

“I hadn’t expected you,” Fraser said with a warm glow of gratitude in his voice.

Ray held the pizza out. “Yeah, just wanted to make up for yesterday.”

Fraser shook his head. “There’s nothing to forgive. On the contrary, I apologize for my unprofessional behavior.”

“Nah, I just…” _I just don’t want you to kiss other people_ , Ray thought and chuckled out loud. Oh God, please let insanity be quick and without much room for introspection.

“Are you alright, Ray?” Fraser asked, concerned.

Ray waved him off. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’m good.” A little bit unstable, maybe, but Ray figured he was doing alright given the circumstances.

They settled in Fraser’s office as comfortably as they could.

“So, what was it about missing people?” Ray asked in between bites.

“Ah, yes. A few of the men told me that they had stopped taking the drug after one of their friends went missing. They weren’t sure if anything had really happened to them, all they could definitely say was that they went to the club together and that their friend had left to find some Push and after that he went missing. In a few cases the missing friend reappeared sometime in the early morning and in others he stayed missing for almost a day before he was heard of again.”

Ray chewed thoughtfully. “What, and the missing person never had a story to tell?”

“That struck me as odd as well, but the men I talked to swore that their friend claimed nothing had happened, that he had only lost track of time or that he had met someone.”

“But you don’t think that’s likely?”

“Well, it would be a remarkable coincidence seeing that I heard the story from numerous different sources and they all sounded identical.”

“True,” Ray conceded. And in Fraser’s world coincidences just didn’t happen.

“And I got this,” Fraser opened the drawer of his desk and got a small pouch out; he reached inside and pulled a tiny plastic bag filled with white powder out, “from the man I was… talking to towards the end.”

_Translation: the guy I played ‘find the left lung’ with._

Ray took the packet and studied it. “So this is the stuff?”

“Yes. However, he claimed not to know the man who gave him this. Whoever is doing this is covering his tracks very nicely.”

“Hmm.” Ray was still thinking about Fraser kissing this guy. Was that the reason why? To get information from him? Did it even make a difference? Fraser could kiss whomever he liked after all. And he had definitely enjoyed the kiss…

It didn’t help to know that it was none of his business; Ray’s mind came back to that question again and again.

When Ray arrived at the _Skydeep_ the cleaning staff was still busy getting the joint ready for business. Philly was already there which surprised Ray, but judging from Jack’s grin it couldn’t be too bad whatever it was that was going on.

“What’s up?” Ray asked as soon as he was close enough.

“Philly’s man is showing up tonight,” Jack answered, amused. “He only rarely drops by here and whenever he does Philly goes completely mental. Everything has to be perfect and you better look your best tonight… not that you have to work too hard on that,” Jack added with slightly reddening cheeks.

“And when he gets here you won’t see Philly for the rest of the evening. They will spend the whole night in one of the private booths at the back,” Jack pointed a thumb in the direction of the mirrored wall where three large curtains partially obscured the view. Ray had thought there was nothing behind them, that it was merely for decoration.

“So they all open to some sort of stall or what?”

Jack nodded. “Most of them are just big enough for a large table and leather loveseats around it. The one in the middle is bigger, though. But it stays carefully closed unless we have some kind of VIP here, which in this case we have as you might’ve figured.”

“Then we’d better get this show on the road,” Ray replied, considering the veiled entrance. So Philly was out for the count the whole evening long. Meaning it wouldn’t get noticed if Ray wasn’t on his post at all times. Maybe it was time to have another look at that locked room in the back.

The club was only beginning to fill when Ray saw a brightening on Philly’s face. He turned around to get a good look at the visitor. Tall, dark-haired, with some Asian mixed in there somewhere. The two made a stunning couple. Philly and the man greeted each other more with looks than with any actual gestures, but Ray could see Philly smoldering from all the way across the room. Saying their hellos didn’t take more than a minute before Philly led the way to the scarlet curtain in the middle; he parted the folds and vanished from view, shortly followed by his friend.

It took another hour for the club to fill and for Fraser to arrive. So far Jack’s prediction seemed true enough; not once had Ray seen Philly or his visitor emerge from their private hiding place.

Jack was bustling around the bar with his hands full when Ray decided to make his move. He grabbed an empty crate with bottles and hefted it up.

“Hey, Jack, I’m just going to dump the stuff in the back, give us some room here.”

Jack nodded fleetingly at Ray and then he turned around again to place two bright blue cocktails in front of a young man whose face had never quite lost the look of a 15-year-old.

Ray moved through the throng of people until he was in Fraser’s line of sight. For once, Fraser was alone. He placed his half-empty water glass on a table nearby and just looked at Ray.

Taking a deep breath, Ray ambled closer. God, he wished he wasn’t so nervous. He wasn’t really coming on to Fraser, but… his heart rate sped up anyway. Bu-bump, bu-bump, what was it about the increasing heart rate and the heightened arousal?

Ray stopped when he stood right in front of Fraser, almost close enough to feel the expansion of his chest as he breathed. Would this be as difficult had he not known that Fraser was into guys? He raised his arm and placed it next to Fraser’s head. Slowly, he leaned in, bringing his face close to Fraser’s.

“We have one chance to take a look around the rooms in the back tonight,” Ray murmured and his face almost brushed Fraser’s cheek as he spoke. He saw Fraser lick his lip.

“All right,” Fraser said.

“Let’s go.” Ray reached down until his fingers closed around Fraser’s hand. It was warm and big and Ray realized that this wasn’t the first time he was holding Fraser’s hand… but it was the first time he really noticed it. Ray pulled him along and Fraser followed. Like at some clandestine meeting, Ray pulled Fraser into the shadows, into the corridor that led to the locked room.

Once there, Ray released his hand. He didn’t know how much time he could spare so they had better set to work.

“Is this the room?” Fraser asked.

Ray nodded.

“Hm.” Nimble fingers smoothed along the plastic of the PIN pad. “The problem isn’t disabling the mechanism; with the right tools this shouldn’t be very difficult. I don’t think this lock is designed to withhold much force, it’s a simple precaution. I didn’t come with the necessary equipment though. If I had my hat; I always carry a—”

Fraser stopped mid-sentence and cocked his head. “Ray, there are footsteps heading in our direction.”

“Shit,” Ray cursed succinctly. He looked wildly around. They only had to hide Fraser; Ray could still explain his trip to the storeroom.

“Quick—” Ray started to say, about to push Fraser in the direction of the storeroom when Ray caught sight of someone coming into the hallway.

Instead of pushing Fraser away he reeled him in and Ray used their momentum to press him against the wall. “Just go with it,” Ray whispered breathlessly and before he could think about it he pressed his lips to Fraser’s.

After one terrifying second in which Fraser was absolutely frozen in place he finally got with the program. His arms came around Ray and his fingers dug into Ray’s shoulder blades. Oh God, those lips… and there wasn’t even time. He could’ve sworn there was a hint of tongue, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. His lips clung to Fraser’s and he felt the smooth skin of his freshly shaved jaw underneath his fingertips as they followed the strong lines of Fraser’s face. Fraser’s lips moved softly underneath his own and now that he had gotten this far Ray wanted nothing more than to deepen the kiss. His lips parted slightly.

“Hey! You!”

Startled, Ray pulled away to look at the newcomer.

“Oh, it’s you, Stanley.” It was the bouncer from the entrance.

“Uh, hey, Dave,” Ray said apologetically.

“Listen, I can see you’re enjoying yourself and I hate to be the one to break this up, but you don’t want the boss catching you with someone else back here. This area is employees only.”

“God, sorry. We weren’t thinking. I was just—” he looked helplessly back at Fraser and was momentarily caught by his blue eyes.

“I’m afraid we got carried away,” Fraser murmured and flicked his eyes up to meet Dave’s gaze.

A broad grin spread over Dave’s face making his bald head shine like the moon. “I can see that. You guys get out of here before someone catches you. You’re lucky it was just me; I was only using the shortcut to the garage. Two people told me a fight has broken out in the alley.”

“We’ll do that,” Ray promised.

“Thank you kindly.”

They moved past the bouncer and Ray was assaulted by the sudden noise of the club, by the millions of people filling the room, and—had he just kissed Fraser? Ray looked behind him, but Fraser’s face didn’t give anything away.

“That was quick thinking, Ray,” he finally said. “Now you need to get back on your post,” Fraser said with a subtle nod towards the bar where Ray could see Jack urgently gesturing for him.

“Duty bellows,” Ray said, going for a smile. Fraser simply inclined his head as if he was still wearing the goddamn hat.

“Where the hell were you?” Jack accused when Ray moved behind the bar again.

“Sorry, sorry. I met Ben on the way to the storeroom and…” Ray felt like bragging about this. He’d done it. He’d kissed Fraser. God, he knew how Fraser kissed! Ray wanted to do a little dance to honor the occasion. It was kind of weird to know that Ray had now officially made out with another man. He had said he’d try anything once— however, this hadn’t sprung to mind when he said it. He was thinking bondage or maybe a little good old voyeurism with the help of a mirror or something like that. Not gay.

God, he’d kissed Fraser.

Jack’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t fuck him in the rest room, did you?”

Ray’s eyes widened comically. “What the—no!” Jesus, how could he think Ray would… do that?

“Don’t sound so shocked. The grin on your face looked like you had gotten some. What the hell were you doing then? I’m drowning in work here, man.”

“We just—we kissed,” Ray exclaimed with a giddy grin. Somehow this felt like a major accomplishment. It was only in the back of his mind that Ray felt the niggling question of if he shouldn’t be more freaked out by this.

“Okay, okay, Casanova. Get your mind out of the gutter for the rest of the night, will you?”

“Aye, aye, sir,” Ray mimed a mock salute.

While he worked, Ray tried to come up with a plan of action. They needed to get into that room. Fraser had said that getting in wasn’t a problem, but they would need time for it. During the night was out; the odds were too high that someone would catch them at it. The building was locked during the day. Keys, Ray needed keys. And he thought he knew how he could get those.

He also wanted a look at those VIP rooms. Something was off about that. Why have one that is off limits even to the staff except for those at the top of the food chain? Unless you had something to hide or something you didn’t want people to know.

And what about those missing guys? They didn’t vanish into thin air so where did they go when they were nowhere to be found? Ray had a hunch that the VIP rooms might come in handy when you needed to store someone for a couple of hours. Except that they didn’t have doors and people close by could probably hear what people were talking about behind the curtain.

If they managed to get into the building during the day it should be possible to check out those booths.

An hour later, Ray ended up mixing drinks right next to Jack.

“Keeping your hard-on in check?” Jack asked dryly.

“Fuck you, Jack,” Ray shot back with a grin.

“Anytime, just let me know when you’re done mooning over Baby Blues.”

“Very funny.”

“I aim to please.”

Ray shook his head and concentrated on finishing his drink. He collected the money and turned back to Jack.

“Tell me who counts as a VIP in here? Some rich schmuck who buys a crate of expensive champagne?”

Jack laughed. “Almost. No, usually some businessmen with connections to the management. Mr. Takeda, that’s Philly’s boyfriend—or rather Philly is his if you know what I mean—usually accompanies them. Sometimes it’s someone else from the higher-ups. Hey, you’ll be back on Friday, right? You’ll see the spectacle then.”

“Cool,” Ray said casually and took the next order. Finally, things got going.

The night was almost over and Ray’s allotted hours were coming to an end. The next time Fraser ordered a water Ray scribbled something on the napkin which he placed underneath the glass. Ray had simply written ‘Ready to go?’ on it and when Fraser returned the glass and the napkin Ray read his answer expecting to already know what it said.

He read the note twice more just to make sure. ‘Thank you kindly, but I will stay a little longer. I will see you tomorrow’ was written underneath Ray’s question.

What the—? Oh.

Ray saw Fraser standing together with another man, unnecessarily close, and Fraser was smiling and nodding at what his companion was saying. It looked awfully cozy. A sudden lump rose up in Ray’s throat. So Fraser wasn’t going home with him tonight, huh?

A flash of hurt made Ray grimace. He never counted. Never. Or maybe he simply wasn’t Fraser’s type. The man he was talking with certainly looked nothing like Ray. More filled out, with longer hair, that looked not the slightest bit experimental but carefully arranged instead, and arms at least the same size as Fraser’s.

Okay. It didn’t matter anyway. Wasn’t as if Ray wanted to go gay over Fraser. Wasn’t as if he wanted to fuck him. Wasn’t as if Ray was interested in him like that. It was only his ego that had taken a fall, thinking he should be some kind of primary choice for Fraser. Stupid, really.

“Hey, Jack, I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Yeah, see you. Have a good time.”

Ray left the club without looking back. At home, he hit the shower and fell straight into bed afterwards. He hugged his pillow tighter and turned on his stomach to stare at the wall ahead. Hey, he could’ve taken Jack home if he wanted to prove something. It wasn’t as if Fraser was the only guy who had offers.

Absent-mindedly, Ray rubbed two fingers over his lips. It hadn’t really been anything… it wasn’t even a real kiss. It had been a mere peck if Ray was really honest. He had simply been curious, nothing more.

Yeah, it was a bit different, kissing a guy. Big deal. Nothing Ray had a sudden craving for or anything.

With a sigh, Ray flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling instead. He smothered his face with his pillow and groaned.

Hell, for all Ray knew Fraser had simply stayed on because he had found a new source of information. It didn’t have to mean anything. Just like the kiss thing when Ray had overreacted. Fraser had gotten information from the guy after all… and enjoyed himself quite a bit while he was at it, Ray thought sourly.

Wasn’t it weird to touch another guy like that? Ray smoothed his own hand down over his body. Sure, that felt normal, it was his body after all. Imagining it was someone else’s didn’t work all that well. It had to be strange, right? No breasts and all hard angles instead of curves? Everything bigger and hairier?

The image of Fraser’s big capable hand on his body stirred something, though. Yeah, okay, Ray could see how that would be interesting. You didn’t have to worry about being too heavy or about squashing anything. And you knew just what to grope for. Guys must give spectacular head, Ray concluded.

It didn’t matter because Ray wasn’t about to have sex with another man. He had no interest in finding out what sex with a guy was like. Or Fraser for that matter. Just because Fraser’s lips had felt like the most amazing thing Ray had experienced in forever… or the way Fraser had gripped him that had made every cell in his body twitch with excitement. And Fraser was just about the best guy Ray had ever met and the most amazing friend. And also because everything Ray had told Jack that he liked about Fraser was true.

Ray ruffled his hair in frustration and burrowed deeper underneath his blanket. He didn’t want Fraser like that. It was just all the gay stuff that was going around lately. Bad influence, very bad.

**TBC**

 


	4. Chapter 4

_~*~_

_Groaning, Fraser tried to focus on his surroundings. He felt hot… too hot, really. His blood pumped in waves and he felt unable to use his arms._

_“What did you do?” a voice asked._

_“I gave him some Push,” another voice explained, defensively._

_Fraser wished someone would touch him._

_~*~_

Fraser didn’t make it to the station all day. Ray’s inability to do something was driving him up the wall. He couldn’t just wait until the next evening at the club rolled around. There had to be something he could do on his current case. There was the guy who had died at the docks… maybe Ray could find something looking at the latest drug victims. Getting the files in order would take all day. Ray’s week was so not off to a good start.

The next day, Ray worked through another stack of folders containing unsolved cases of overdose. He only kept the ones concerning men and tried to find a common link. Blond, brunet, red, Asian, Caucasian, Afro-American, there seemed to be all types of drug victims. They were all built differently and they all worked different jobs and lived in different parts of town.

They only had one thing in common; they were all rather young. Not one victim was above the age of 30. And they were all found in places that didn’t make any sense. There was no connection. The man Ray had found had died in a warehouse at the docks. Which wasn’t a part of town he had any reason for being.

Another man had OD’ed in a less frequented forest area almost an hour from where he worked and lived. The same chemical mix had been found in the blood of all victims. If they hadn’t taken the overdose right where they were found it would have been impossible for them to get there on their own. Either they were all suicides or someone else had destined the location of their last moments.

Why? Why should anyone give someone an overdose and then dump them somewhere to die?

Maybe Fraser could take the pictures to the club the next time, see if they rang any bells with the other guests. Ray looked at his watch. Or he could try and ask their next of kin and their friends and shake some information down.

Most of the victims had a family around here somewhere. Ray decided to start with the most recent one.

“Mr. Andrews? Thank you for seeing me. I am investigating the death of Gregory Klein. I’m interested in the last time you saw him. Can you tell me when that was and if he told you anything conclusive?”

Jefferson Andrews was a youth of 22 years who had a hard time talking about the incident because he was the boyfriend of the victim.

“I, yes, I… it was the day before—before—they found him. W-w-we… we were fighting,” Jefferson Andrews raised red-rimmed eyes at Ray.

“I never—I couldn’t—apologize… I’m so sorry… it was so stupid anyway.”

Ray smiled sympathetically.

“What was it about? I was married, I know most stupid arguments.”

Jefferson smiled tearfully.

“Greg was forever taking this stupid drug, Push, maybe you know it? Anyway, I wanted him to stop it, but…” Jefferson laughed and it sounded like it hurt. “But he always said the sex was too good to give it up. And I—I accused him of only sleeping with me when he was under the influence and… it really got out of hand. So he—he left. A-and I… I didn’t see him again until—until… oh God…”

“It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself. You tried to protect him. You can’t make his choices for him. Do you know where he went to?”

Jefferson shook his head. “No, I—I talked to our friends and no one saw him that night. God, I don’t know.”

“Do you know the _Skydeep_?”

Jefferson looked surprised. “Sure, it’s the club up on West Ontario Street. Everyone goes there. Why?”

“Is it possible that Mr. Klein went there after he left?”

Jefferson shrugged. “Could be. But he usually didn’t go there alone.”

“Thank you for your time.”

Tracking down people and doing the interviews kept Ray occupied for most of the week. He didn’t even see Fraser because his partner spent his spare time catching up with his consulate duties. Did Fraser even know what free time was?

By the end of the week and a line of shockingly similar interviews, Ray concluded that all of the victims could’ve been at the _Skydeep_ the night before they were found dead. All of them had gone there before and they had all been out on their own the night before they died.

Two people definitely visited the _Skydeep_ that night—at least that was the plan they had told their friend/boyfriend/parent before they left. And Ray had found one himself whose only last word had been the name of the club. That in itself wasn’t conclusive evidence, but it was food for thought.

Maybe those weren’t murders? What if they belonged to the same line of missing people only that these hadn’t been as lucky?

Ray was almost anxious to see Fraser on Friday night. Most of all because he had spent the better part of the week thinking about what might or might not have happened at the club after Ray left and also because, damn, he missed his best friend. When they worked together on a case they could talk, spend time together, hang out. With this case there never seemed the time.

They couldn’t talk at the club, not without staging something—and Ray wasn’t exactly sure what kind of dangerous game he was playing there—and then Fraser played secretary during the week and never showed at the station anymore.

Leaving Ray alone with the paper work, the bad coffee, the game on tv, and his right hand. Ray felt the blush creeping up his neck. He hadn’t meant to, his fantasy land was simply a runaway train and ever since Ray had thought how it would be to have sex with another man it kept creeping up during his wank sessions.

Nothing definite—it wasn’t as if he was imagining having sex with Fraser… well, not intentionally anyway. It was just the image of a bigger hand on his own body… or a different mouth, without any gloss, and a crooked tooth at the corner—but that was all.

It was all Fraser’s fault anyway. Because Fraser always made Ray rethink stuff he had felt sure about, like the thing with Stella and the bank, being Fraser’s partner kind of taught you to look at things from a different perspective. Hell, you needed to think outside the box if you wanted to keep up with Fraser’s wildly bizarre ways.

Ray looked around the still empty club. Maybe they would get the break they needed tonight.

“Hey, Jack,” Ray called. “Let me do the stocking up for a change. I got to learn it sometime. You can check later if I did it right.”

“Sure.” Jack threw him the keys. “And if you botch it? Do I get to spank you?”

Ray waggled his eyebrows. “We’ll see. First you have to catch me at making a mistake. I think I got it covered.”

Jack laughed and continued to arrange the glasses behind the bar.

Ray went into the back and downstairs. He jammed something into the door and unlocked the store room. If Ray did his job right then they had the better part of the night to finish this task.

He went through the garage. When he had almost reached the entrance, a man stepped from the shadows.

“Did you get them?” Huey’s dark voice carried effortlessly.

“Yeah,” Ray jingled the keys. “We need duplicates for all of them. Have someone come in and order a gin tonic with cucumber when you’re done. I’ll need to go down again to get a cucumber and I’ll take them from you again.”

“No problem. Later, _Stanley_.”

“Cute. Later.”

_Now for the actual work_. Ray recalled a visual of the number of boxes and crates they had stocked in the fridge and under the bar. When he was sure that he hadn’t forgotten anything Ray pulled the door shut and heard the lock catch.

He carried the crates upstairs and taped the inside of the door to the garage so that it wouldn’t lock when he pulled it closed.

Jack came over to look at his handiwork when Ray was almost done stocking the shelves.

“Of course you had to get it right the first time,” Jack sighed mock-wistfully.

“Told you so,” Ray grinned.

It was still early evening; most patrons were just sitting together at the table having drinks, the music still too quiet to animate anyone to dance, when the special visitors Jack had told him about arrived.

Ray recognized Mr. Takeda and he could’ve sworn he knew the man behind him, slightly older with thinning hair, but immaculately dressed. He just couldn’t tell where he knew him from.

Ray had no idea who the two other men were, but it was easy to see that they had money and influence on their side.

Philly strode up to meet them, playing the gracious host. He didn’t go in with them, though, probably not high enough on the ladder to sit in on the important meetings. Ray smirked.

Once the group had vanished behind the curtain, Philly came up to the bar to demand the champagne Jack had prepared. Jack handed the bucket with the bottle and the tray with the glasses over and Philly straightened up and walked with the self-important air of the truly dedicated butler. Whoever these guys were, they were important.

Ray caught a quick glimpse of the booth behind the curtain when Philly entered the little cubicle. It was disappointing. Much like Jack had described it, there was a table around which the group had settled. Nothing, well, he wasn’t sure what he had expected, but since there seemed to be such a fuss about this VIP lounge Ray had thought something was going on there.

Fraser arrived early, long before the usual crowd claimed the dance floor. Ray’s heart went pitter patter at the sight of him. Calmly, Fraser made his way over to the bar. He smiled at Ray.

“Good evening.” He looked good. “It has been a very long week,” Fraser said with a small smile.

“You can say that again,” Ray snorted. “Is there anything I can do for you?” He almost cursed himself for making it sound so suggestive.

Fraser hesitated a split second. “A glass of water would be nice.”

“Water? Sure, buddy.”

“Thank you kindly.”

For one sharp moment Ray wanted nothing better than to be sitting at home on his couch with Fraser right next to him and maybe the wolf in the kitchen and watching a game… just connecting.

“Uh, I should… work,” Ray mumbled, gesturing at other people lined up at the bar.

“Of course.”

Ray watched him leave. He didn’t think that he had ever spent this much time watching Fraser.

After two more customers, Jack caught up with him.

“You know, maybe I’ve been wrong about him.”

Ray’s eyes moved to the left to watch Fraser again. He didn’t even have to search for him, he always knew where he was.

“How so?” Ray asked. His heart did a curious sort of flip-flop, but he really, really, didn’t want to make anything of it.

“Well, he keeps coming back to you. So whatever else he has going on… and it looks like a lot… there seems to be something about you that he likes.”

Yeah, my friendship, Ray thought.

“I don’t think I’m his type,” Ray explained, surprised again at how bitter that tasted.

Jack shrugged. “Hey, he hit on you that first night. That’s gotta be something.”

“…uh-huh… great…” God, now he felt depressed. There hadn’t been a first night or anyone hitting on anyone… it had just been work.

Ray shook himself. Of course it wasn’t real. He wasn’t into guys and Fraser and him were damn good partners and that was the only thing that mattered.

The hours dragged by. Ray had put some weight on this VIP thing, assuming that something would happen. And so far nothing had. No one else had entered the little private area and no one had left. It seemed a repeat of Philly’s date with his boyfriend. His disappointment gave way to frustration. Nowhere, this whole thing was going nowhere.

“Hey,” a voice exclaimed brightly.

Ray dragged his gaze away from the private booth and focused on the young man in front of him. Jesus, that smile was bright.

“Yeah?” He was not in the mood for this.

The smile dimmed down a little and the expression turned serious.

“I want a gin tonic—with cucumber,” the man said with heavy emphasis looking expectantly at Ray.

Inwardly, Ray shook his head. They sent him the overeager rookie. Tom and Jack’s idea of a good joke.

“The cucumber is really important,” the man explained earnestly. The question ‘Get it? Get it?’ was clearly written all over his face.

“I bet.”

Ray turned to Jack. “Do we have any cucumbers stacked? I need some for a drink.”

Jack shook his head. “I don’t think so, but you might want to check downstairs.” He patted his pockets looking for the keys when he remembered. “You must still have the keys.”

“Yeah, I do. Okay, I’ll be right back.”

“Your drink is coming right up,” Ray replied acid-sweet. It wasn’t the fault of the kid that the evening wasn’t going according to plan.

In the garage, Huey handed him the bunch of keys back. Ray took them upstairs and moved behind the bar again and handed the keys to Jack.

“Sorry, we don’t have any cucumber. Lime okay?”

The young officer looked indecisive. They probably hadn’t told the kid what to do after he had delivered his line.

“You’ll be fine,” Ray sighed and pushed the drink in front of him. Uncertainly, the young man picked up his drink and moved into the crowd.

Ray closed his eyes for a second. At least they had the keys now.

The VIP group left before the club began to empty and Ray’s last bit of hope drained away. Maybe he was wrong about the VIP thing.

The later it got the more Ray thought about Fraser. Would he want to stay longer again, maybe leave with someone else? He should really stop thinking about it. There was a reason they had put ‘lousy’ in ‘jealousy’ and Ray had walked down that road too many times to count.

It was probably too late to keep from having these kinds of thoughts about Fraser… he had never been very good at keeping away from the things he shouldn’t be doing. Damn Fraser and his stupid heart-to-heart. Ray would never have thought about him that way at all hadn’t Fraser told him to look in that direction.

“Could I have another water?” The voice was amused and Ray only now realized that he had completely zoned out.

“Sorry, I…long night.” Ray looked at Fraser and felt the by now familiar slow burn. Fraser looked a little sweaty and his hair had curled slightly at the edges; it was a good look on him. Had he really never noticed all this before? It had been such a long time since Ray had wanted someone else.

Ray had kept his wants simple. A beer, a quiet evening, a little dancing. But now Ray wanted. Fraser’s familiar face recalled a flood of images, a brush against his cheek, the kiss, _god_ , the kiss, the way he had smelled…

Ray pushed the glass in Fraser’s direction, keeping his gaze carefully focused on what his hands were doing. Fraser placed his empty glass and the napkin on the bar again and left money on the counter.

“Thank you.”

Once Fraser had taken his glass and left, Ray picked up the napkin. A grin spread out when he read the note: ‘I’ll meet you at the car’.

They had barely settled in the car when Ray asked, “Do you want to crash at my place again?”

“I don’t want to abuse your hospitality, Ray.”

“You’re not. So, want to?” He had no idea why it was so important to him. Maybe it was that a small victory was better than none.

“I’d like that, thank you.”

“Freak.”

Ray spread a sheet on the couch and dropped a pillow on it. He went to the closet to get a blanket and when he came back, Fraser had already unbuttoned his shirt. Stupidly, Ray stopped in his tracks and watched him undress.

Fraser shrugged the shirt off, undressing down to his undershirt, when he noticed Ray standing in the hallway with the blanket in his arms.

“Oh, thank you.” Fraser came up to take the blanket from him and for a second Ray imagined he could smell warm skin.

“No problem,” Ray murmured. “Bathroom’s yours.”

Oblivious to Ray’s thoughts, Fraser nodded with a smile and moved into the bathroom. Ray sat down at the kitchen counter and cradled his head. He took a sip from the water glass in front of him and then put it down again. What was he doing here?

Fraser came out of the bathroom in nothing more than his undershirt and—boxer briefs.

“You’re not wearing boxer shorts,” Ray exclaimed in surprise. He winced inwardly, _great, Kowalski, just great._

Fraser glanced down at himself and rubbed his eyebrow. “They are, well, Ray, frankly they are rather uncomfortable to wear with jeans.”

“Sure, yeah, I get that,” Ray said, dragging his eyes away with some difficulty.

He slid off the chair and stood a little awkwardly next to the entrance of the kitchen. “Uh, goodnight then.”

“Sleep tight.”

Fraser sat down on the couch and unfolded the blanket. Reluctantly, Ray moved into his own bedroom and crawled underneath the covers.

Okay, so maybe Ray didn’t think about kissing guys and maybe he wasn’t so good at imagining touching another man, but he sure as hell thought about kissing Fraser, about touching him… about getting touched by him.

Holding his breath, half afraid Fraser might hear him, Ray’s hand crept into his shorts. He bit his lip as his hand closed around his dick. Slowly, Ray stroked himself to full hardness. He buried his face in his pillow to keep his breathing quiet as his hand sped up its movement. He gasped quietly, thinking of Fraser’s grip as they had kissed—imagining the way Fraser had looked when he had kissed that other guy and Ray’s cock liked the thought of swapping places with that stranger a hell of a lot.

A whimper made it past Ray’s lips. God… oh, he wanted… Fraser would look breath-taking aroused.

His whole body convulsed and Ray bit his hand to stifle Fraser’s name as he came. Jesus… Ray thought as he lay there panting. Weakly, he reached out for a tissue to get himself cleaned up. What had he gotten himself into?

**TBC**

 


	5. Chapter 5

_~*~_

_Fraser’s arms felt like lead. Just keeping his head up cost him every ounce of willpower. He heard the murmur of voices, but it didn’t mean anything to him._

_He was consciously aware of every breath he sucked in, but his heart was hammering away in his chest and there never seemed enough air to calm his pulse. Oddly enough he couldn’t find it in him to be disturbed by this._

_~*~_

They waited until Sunday night to take a look around the _Skydeep_ just to be on the safe side. Cleaning personnel should have left the building sometime around noon and there was no business that evening. At least not officially. So even if someone was doing any last-minute arrangements they should have gone by the time Ray and Fraser arrived there.

They used the entrance of the garage to attract the least possible attention. The building was dark and quiet and Ray breathed a sigh of relief. He would’ve had a hard time explaining his being there had Jack or some other of the staff been around.

Fraser pulled the little satchel of equipment out of his hat—Ray didn’t even ask—and set to work. It looked amazingly simple… so Ray probably couldn’t have done it. But Fraser’s fingers were steady as he removed the whole panel and began following different colored wires into the wall. Ray figured it was very unlikely that the thing could explode so he left him to it and went to take a look at the private booths.

He flung the curtains open wide, one after the other. Once done he stared with a certain amount of disappointment at the three little booths. The left and right ones were a little smaller, just one big leather seat that stretched around a table with mirror-covered walls where the backrest ended.

And Ray hadn’t really expected them to hold any secret. He had held out some hope about the middle one, though, despite having already caught a glimpse. Unfortunately, it looked much the same close up. It was more of a small room than a booth, but that was the major difference.

You could walk around the leather seat and instead of one big mirror there were several mirrored panels covering the wall, each divided from the next with a tall pillar-like ornament.

“Ray, it’s open.” Fraser had come up to him and was now also studying the partition behind the curtain.

Maybe the locked room was more promising. They went back into the hallway and Fraser reached out to turn the knob and pushed the door open.

“Oh.” Fraser’s surprised sound went well with Ray’s own falling face. The security room; they had found the damn security room. Of course a club this size would have video monitoring and of course it would be locked.

Ray kicked the wall in frustration. Maybe they were completely wrong with this whole drug thing. It had begun as a wild goose chase and when Ray came across the same name from Fraser’s suspicious claim it had seemed a logical conclusion. In reality, they had probably just bet on the wrong horse.

“Ray, did you see any cameras in the club?”

“Uh,” Ray thought about that for a second. “Sure, there’s one in the entrance area and two in the main room, that’s one to the right above the hallway and the other in the back with the tables. And there’s the one down in the garage.”

“Hm.”

“What do you mean ‘hm’?”

“There is no watchman on the staff except for the bouncer.”

“So?”

“No one is watching the recordings of the club. The cameras aren’t even active, at least not outside of business hours; not one tracked our movements when we came in.”

“Maybe it’s just a security standard? They only need it when something happens,” Ray offered.

“Yes, you might be right,” Fraser conceded, but he didn’t look convinced.

He opened the cupboards to look at the tapes that were stocked. They were all labeled according to the camera that had recorded it.

Fraser tapped against a small stack of tapes. “There is a 5th camera, Ray.”

“5th? No way, I would’ve noticed it.”

“Maybe you couldn’t have seen it.”

“You mean it’s hidden?”

“I wouldn’t want to propose any theories without proof, but I think the content of the tape will be conclusive.”

Fraser took the first one from the stack and put it in the player.

The quality of the tape wasn’t what Ray would call state of the art, but it was good enough that someone might enjoy it.

Ray stared at the screen. “I don’t believe it.”

Fraser’s mouth was pressed into a tight line.

It showed a room Ray didn’t know with 4 men inside. The same 4 men that had come to the club last Friday for a session in the VIP lounge. And 3 of them took turns fucking a 5th man, younger than the others and nicely built. Fucking might be too simple a word, Ray thought, as he watched the man getting abused. There were a number of instruments on the wall, for hitting, restraining, and Ray didn’t even want to know for what kind of games.

The man himself was bound and also gagged at first until one of the men decided his mouth could be put to better use.

Ray’s voice sounded rusty when he spoke. “Is that rape?” Because he really wasn’t sure. The man seemed to be enjoying it and yet he remained strangely vacant in everything, his body almost unnaturally accommodating.

Fraser was quiet for a long moment. “I think this is the real reason why Push is distributed in the club.”

Ray stared at him. “You mean they create addicts to use them for… this? So that a few rich guys in the management can buy a night of fun?”

“We don’t actually know that he has been given the drug,” Fraser cautioned.

“But you think he has?”

Fraser inclined his head in acknowledgment. “It paralyzes the body to a certain degree, makes it helpless and pliable because the muscles relax to an exaggerated degree. At the same time it enhances certain sensations, pleasure most of all. I think with the right dosage pain and pleasure would be indistinguishable. But as I said, judging from this evidence we won’t be able to prove anything. Even if we find a tape on which we see the administration of the drug we could only arrest them for illegal drug use.”

Ray gnashed his teeth. “Yeah, they pay a fine and they walk. No, I want to nail them on the full account. Possession, usage, distribution—and if that’s really the case I want to hit them with a rape charge so hard they don’t know their own name anymore.”

Fraser stopped the tape. “I can sympathize with the sentiment.”

Ray’s gaze wandered over the tapes of the hidden room. “Hey!” He had an idea. “What if there’s a tape for one of the men who died of an overdose? That would at least be a strong suggestion, right?”

Fraser nodded slowly. “Yes, I would think so.”

Somewhere in his pockets he had that list… Ray fished in his different pockets until he came up with a scrap of paper. “Here we go.” Ray read the list of dates when the victims had been found.

Fraser shook his head sadly. “The video tapes here are all very recent. I would assume that they take them somewhere else either for safe keeping or editing.”

Ray let his head hang. “What now?”

“I think I know where the room is.”

“You know what?”

“I had my suspicions the first time we were in this hallway, but I couldn’t be sure until I had seen the inside of the private booths.”

“Which were?” Ray asked impatiently.

“The room we have just seen has to be at the back of one of the VIP lounges. I realized that this hallway extends far beyond the actual main room. Since the stairs lead down to the garage the hallway does in fact span the whole building. Where then is the additional space in the main room?”

“Behind the curtains.”

“Precisely.”

Ray frowned. “But I checked the rooms. There’s nothing there.”

“There has to be. Now that we know what to look for.”

They restored everything to its original condition and Fraser refitted the panel in the wall and then they moved back into the main room.

Fraser looked around the big private booth in the middle with a concentrated frown on his face. His long fingers skimmed the surface of the mirror, pressing now and again, until—

Ray stared in amazement as one of the mirrors opened an inch at the push of Fraser’s hand. It clicked quietly and then the mirror opened, revealing another room behind it.

“Frase, you’ve done it,” Ray exclaimed astonished.

This was the room all right. There was nothing much here. They might have found fingerprints, but they had clear enough proof on the tapes. Ray shuddered as he looked at the chains and whips on the wall and the images from the tape came back to him. The guy probably hadn’t been able to walk for days… if he had survived, Ray thought darkly.

Suddenly a murmur filled the room, coming from far away, but rapidly growing more distinct. Shit. Someone was coming into the club.

Fraser was that one second faster and pulled the mirror-door shut. Frantically, Ray looked around. Why did they always end up in a mess like this?

Fraser murmured something to himself about emergency exits and then decisively flung another piece of drapery away to reveal a second door. “Ray, quick. This should lead outside.”

They scrambled through the door just as Ray heard someone shout: “Hey, why are the curtains open? Who’s there?”

A short hallway followed, leading to another door, this one an old iron one. Ray pulled the door open and found himself in the middle of another alley.

It must’ve been the middle of the night by now, it was pitch black and there was only one flickering street lamp a couple of feet away. How long did that alley go? Too long probably to make it out before someone came looking for them. Fuck, what now?

It dawned on him the moment Fraser opened his mouth. Trust Fraser to find the nearest dumpster. Why did it always have to be him?

“Ray, if you would be so kind.” Fraser held the upper half of the container open in invitation. Ray was about to argue, but even his ears picked up the voice in the hallway ordering others to search the grounds.

With a sigh for good measure, Ray climbed into the dumpster. Fraser followed a second later and the lid fell shut. Breathing through his mouth was the only way to keep from gagging and Ray glared at Fraser because, really, why was it that Fraser always found the next dumpster when they were in need of hiding? Ray’s glare was utterly wasted on the darkness, though, and Fraser remained oblivious to Ray’s dismay.

Half a minute later the door was flung open and two sets of feet thumped over the concrete.

“There’s no one here.”

“No, maybe it was nothing. Could be the cleaning staff forgot to close the curtains when they were done.”

“Yes, possibly. Okay, let’s go back inside.”

Philly and Takeda, Ray thought. The door shut again and when no one came back after a couple of seconds, Fraser lifted the lid of the dumpster.

Ray took a careful whiff. “Ugh, gross. We are not driving all the way back to my place stinking like something died,” Ray declared decisively.

Fraser cocked his head. “All right. What would you propose then?”

“Okay, here’s the deal. We drive to the station which is all of 5 minutes away—”

“Ray, it would take at least 15 minutes—”

“Not the way I drive, it’s 5. And we can catch a shower there and get the report done in one go. Deal?”

“That sounds remarkably expedient, Ray.”

Ray took that as a ‘yes’.

Steam rose up while Ray contemplated the soap bubbles on his hands. He hadn’t really thought about showering with Fraser when he’d come up with the idea of them catching a shower at the 2-7 together.

They had shared countless showers at the precinct after countless incidents in which Fraser had gotten them into something really gross it had just never occurred to him that he was really taking a shower with a naked Benton Fraser.

He’d never really looked and he had never thought Fraser might be interested in looking… now on the other hand…

Ray glanced to the left at Fraser, but the Mountie wasn’t looking at him or even trying to sneak a peek. Ray’s eyes wandered over the expanse of skin that Fraser offered. Wow, really broad shoulders. Sure, he had noticed that Fraser was almost twice his size in the muscle department, but he’d never _noticed_ -noticed it before.

His gaze dropped down, following the line of Fraser’s spine. Taut, full ass—probably the best ass Ray’d ever seen, and the water sluiced down, effortlessly following the curves of Fraser’s ass, and finding its way to strong, firm thighs.

Slowly, Ray’s eyes made the journey back up. Fraser’s nape was the slightest bit red, probably from the steaming water, and Ray’s eyes moved further—until they suddenly met Fraser’s confused glance, half-hidden under sopping-wet bangs.Ray tried a vague smile, kinda non-committal, no-big-deal-kinda smile and turned towards the tiled wall again. That was a safe distance, wasn’t it?

But it wasn’t even a minute later that Ray half-turned again to look at Fraser. He watched the muscles shift underneath the warm skin as Fraser began to spread the lather over his body. Ray watched the stretch and turn of Fraser’s broad back as his arms spread the slick of the soap around. Big, capable hands glided over the wet skin and Ray was mesmerized.

The hands stopped in mid-motion and Fraser coughed politely. Ray’s eyes met Fraser’s bewildered look again and Ray turned a dark red and was about to continue with his own business when it finally caught up with him that other body parts of his were also taking an interest in watching Fraser shower. This was really the wrong moment to salute the Queen despite or especially because of the Canadian present. And Ray knew the exact moment when Fraser noticed it, too.

“Ray, is there a reason for your close obser….” Fraser’s remarkably calm voice trailed off in mid-word as Fraser noticed the state Ray was in. “…vation…” Fraser finished in a dazed-sounding voice.

Ray spun around and resolutely faced the wall in front of him again. Damn, _damndamndamn_ , Ray cursed inside of his head. It didn’t help diminish his erection though. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. There had to be something he could—Fraser’s warm hand settled reassuringly on his shoulder.

“It’s a bodily reaction, Ray. It happens,” Fraser soothed, sounding sympathetic. Ray cracked half a smile. It would’ve been nice of Fraser, being such a good sport about it, if he hadn’t been so hilariously wrong with his assumption.

Seeing that Fraser was into guys and had probably done his fair share of catching a look in public showers meant that he probably wouldn’t freak out if he knew that Ray had gotten a hard-on because he had gotten an eyeful. And Ray kind of liked Fraser’s hand touching him.

Maybe it was time to come clean… just with the attraction part… Fraser could hardly freak out about that, could he?

Hesitantly, Ray shook his head. “Let’s just assume it isn’t without reason, okay?” The water from the shower made the slight tremor in Ray’s voice almost unnoticeable.

He could practically hear Fraser’s confusion behind him. Ray took a deep breath and plunged. “Ever since you told me that you, you know, also go in _that_ direction… I can’t stop looking at you,” he explained, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.

“Are you saying this is a reaction to…to…” Fraser faltered. At least he didn’t sound shocked—or disgusted. Mostly, Fraser sounded a lot surprised and a lot confused.

“Yeah, this is my reaction to watching you,” Ray motioned towards his straining erection that seemed to like the warm water, Fraser’s close proximity, and being the object of a conversation. “I’m… I can’t help it. My body’s just… interested,” Ray finished. He hoped it was a good sign that Fraser was still standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder.

Said hand moved gently over the curve of Ray’s shoulder. “Is that a purely philosophical interest?” Fraser asked carefully. Ray chuckled. “Yes, Frase, a hard-on constantly gives me the urge to _think_. I’d call that physical evidence.”

Fraser cleared his throat. “And you would like me to… indulge… this interest of yours?” Fraser asked again with the voice of someone unsure if he was using a foreign dialect correctly.

Ray’s lips were suddenly dry despite the water still pelting down. He leaned back against Fraser, pressing his wet back against Fraser’s equally damp chest and heard Fraser’s startled intake of breath.

“Only if you want to,” Ray said quietly and rested more of his weight on Fraser. Strong fingers settled on Ray’s hip to pull him closer. A sudden shiver rippled through him as he felt Fraser’s erection press against his ass. Oh, Fraser wanted to alright. A tight coil of excitement and nervousness wound through Ray’s gut.

“Are you sure?” Fraser rasped out.

“Hell yeah,” Ray nodded and reached behind him to at least touch Fraser’s skin, feel that firm ass underneath his fingertips. A breathy moan stirred the sensitive skin behind Ray’s ear.

Fraser’s arm came around his chest and his fingers brushed droplets of water over Ray’s skin. Slowly his hand crept lower and Ray took a shuddering breath, feeling his stomach muscles quiver as Fraser’s fingers dipped lower. One hand settled on his hip and when the other just barely skimmed his erection Ray feared his heart would beat out of his chest any second now.

“Frase…” Ray whispered, terrified and aroused and Fraser closed his hand calmly around Ray’s cock and Ray couldn’t help the heartfelt moan that was wrung from his lips at the contact. He reached out with one hand to steady himself against the wall as Fraser’s hand began moving in earnest. Whoa, Fraser really knew what he was doing and Ray knew he shouldn’t be surprised by it.

“Oh god,” Ray rasped. Fraser’s grip was sure and firm, not at all the way most women did it.

Quick, almost lightning-quick, with sure, efficient strokes, Fraser brought Ray to the brink of orgasm and Ray gnashed his teeth not wanting this to be over already.

The silky wetness of Fraser’s hair brushed against Ray’s throat. Helplessly, Ray thrust his hips forward into Fraser’s hand, he was so close…

But right when he thought he couldn’t fight it off any longer Fraser’s hand gentled on him, going slower, teasing the crown with his thumb and Ray whimpered at being denied release after all.

Fraser’s hand moved lower, cupping Ray’s balls, holding them gently and Ray gasped. “ _God_ —”

Fraser really liked playing with his equipment that much was sure. His breath turned to steam against Ray’s cheek and his lips brushed Ray’s skin ever so softly and suddenly Ray needed to have this. He turned his head and reached up to pull Fraser’s face closer.

Fraser stole the groan right out of Ray’s mouth and, god, Fraser was kissing him. Ray probed deeper, aching for more, and in a flurry of motion Fraser had him turned around and pressed against the shockingly cold, damp tiles.

“Frase…” Ray gasped and his arms came up to hold Fraser close against him.

Fraser’s hand roamed over Ray’s body, smoothing over his stomach, his chest, and Fraser’s other hand found his nipple and pinched. Ray cried out, bucking against Fraser and drawing a hiss from him as their cocks touched. Weird, Ray thought for a second, before he changed his mind to mind-blowing when Fraser thrust back, rubbing in a maddening rhythm against him.

Fraser’s hand dropped back down to cup Ray’s cock, softly mixing the precome with the dripping water and Ray bit his lip to keep from shouting. He heard Fraser’s low moan, almost directly in his ear, and he hadn’t thought that Fraser getting off on this would turn him on this badly. Or that Fraser fed on Ray’s arousal as much as he did—because that much was really obvious. The barely contained moans were a dead give-away just how into this he was.

And he was rubbing against Ray, just a bit, just lightly, but it was the most exciting feeling Ray could think of.

“Get me off,” Ray gasped. “Please… god, Frase…”

Strong fingers pulled on his cock again and Fraser pressed harder against Ray, pushing him into the wall and the tiles had warmed up, they slid slippery and hot against his back and Fraser was plastered wet and aroused and strong against his front and Ray was pretty sure that he was losing his mind when Fraser’s mouth came back and his tongue begged for entrance.

“ _Ray_ ,” Fraser moaned against Ray’s lips and Ray’s fingers tightened their grip as he shook with the sudden force of his climax. Fraser’s fingers gentled their grip as Ray continued to shake while he rode the crest and Fraser buried his face in the crook of Ray’s shoulder, sucking on the soft skin where neck met shoulder to stifle his moan as he came. Ray felt the come splatter his skin and Ray really regretted that he hadn’t seen Fraser’s face as he came.

Ray tried to get his breath back. This had been…. well… _illuminating_ as Fraser would put it. Damn the consequences. Ray’s fingers moved into Fraser’s hair and he pulled him up, bringing their lips together again.

This kiss was nothing like the one they had faked at the club. God, no. This was messy, and wet, and urgent. Fraser’s strong arms held Ray close while he tried his best to find out what Fraser tasted like. It was the same open-mouthed, greedy kiss Ray had witnessed—the one he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. And it was so much better to be participating in it instead of just watching.

“Ray,” Fraser gasped in between.

“Ray,” he repeated breathlessly. Ray figured talking was overrated.

“Ray, Ray, Ray—” Fraser chanted, trying to get a modicum of space between them.

“What?” Ray asked, irritated.

Fraser looked charmingly bewildered. The slightly dopey smile ruined the effect of his serious gaze a little. “We should talk,” Fraser said.

Had the water been turned to ice all of a sudden? Ray could feel his insides freezing. Nothing good ever came of talking… he supposed he should’ve anticipated this. God, he’d fucked up big time.

Gently, Fraser’s hands closed around Ray’s wrists. “Ray, we’ve just had sex in the communal showers at the station,” he said matter-of-factly and Ray choked back a sudden laugh. For the first time since this had started Ray really took in his surroundings. Holy fuck. Fraser was right.

They had just screwed in the police station. Where they worked. Where someone could’ve come in… granted, not very likely at this time of night, but not impossible. They had just had sex! Ray thought with a mixture of astonishment and panic. He and Fraser. Had sex. As in Ray had had sex with another guy. With his partner! For god’s sake. With Fraser!

Ray’s eyes widened comically and Fraser’s crooked tooth showed at the corner of his mouth as his lips stretched into a quirky half-smile. “I think we should talk about this,” Fraser repeated again and squeezed Ray’s hands gently before letting go.

Fraser didn’t look unhappy as he stepped back—though he did frown as he shut off the water. Ray supposed he had just made Fraser buy a ticket for a guilt trip to every country with problems of water shortage.

Automatically, Ray took the offered towel and began drying himself. He’d had sex with Fraser. Ray stared at his partner, the reality of it crashing into Ray with a feeling like vertigo. He noticed that Fraser was watching him, a contemplating look on his face. He didn’t look half as freaked out as Ray was beginning to feel or as Ray thought Fraser should feel. Ray offered him a small smile and Fraser relaxed a little.

They managed to get dressed and into the GTO without so much as another word to each other. Ray really didn’t know what he should say now they’d had sex. He supposed Fraser knew where the conversation should go and he would probably start at one point or another.

Ray was right. As soon as they reached his apartment Fraser sat him down on the couch and studied him for a moment.

“I’m a little surprised, Ray,” Fraser admitted.

Ray grinned. “Just a little, huh?”

“Well, yes, you see,” Fraser rubbed a knuckle over his eyebrow. “I hadn’t been aware that you were—” he debated which word to use, “curious.”

Ray shrugged. “I’ve never given it much thought until…”

“Until I told you that I believe human sexuality to be flexible,” Fraser finished dryly.

“Yeah,” Ray shrugged again.

Fraser frowned. “So you realized you were curious and that I was…. safe?” He asked carefully.

‘Safe,’ Ray thought, that was a good word. Partners, trust, caring… all those things had made Fraser a safe bet for experimentation. It just wasn’t the reason. Wasn’t like Ray had suddenly noticed he was into guys and thought Fraser was a good way to find out for sure. Rather he had suddenly realized he was into Fraser and thought he wanted some.

“Yeah but not like that… it was…” Ray gestured aimlessly around the room hoping his hands would find the right words in the empty space around him. “It was just you, okay? I was thinking about you and I got… yeah, I got curious.”

Fraser nodded and sat even straighter. “I see,” he replied. Nothing good ever came of it when Fraser said that.

“I take it that your curiosity is now satisfied,” Fraser said stoically. He was hurt and Ray cursed himself because this was all wrong. Looking at it from Fraser’s perspective this sounded a lot as if Ray had just used him—and it wasn’t like that.

Ray’s hands tightened on his thighs, feeling the coarse denim underneath his palms. “No, it isn’t.”

Fraser looked up at him then and he wore that puzzled look again that Ray recognized from back in the shower. Ray found he liked putting that look on his face.

“I’d kinda like to do it again,” Ray admitted, fighting to keep the blush down.

Fraser stared at him. This, apparently, wasn’t an answer he had anticipated to hear.

“I’m…” Fraser stopped again and licked his lips. “I’m afraid I’m still confused,” he explained.

Ray smiled at that. “Don’t wait for pointers from me, buddy. I have no idea either. Question is…” God, he was nervous. And Fraser was sitting there, looking all earnest.

“Do you want to?” Ray met Fraser’s gaze head-on.

Fraser looked absolutely rooted to the spot. Hurriedly, Ray moved on to explain himself. Hoping that whatever had Fraser thinking could be brushed aside in his favor. “I know I don’t have the faintest idea what I’m doing and I’ll probably need a few pointers, but I, uhm, I’d like to do it again… with you.”

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea, Ray”, Fraser’s voice was more of a whisper.

It hit like a blow even though Ray had already known that he wasn’t Fraser’s favored choice. But he had already gone too far out of the window to climb back in now.

“I’m not asking you to fuck me in the supply closet.” Ray exclaimed hotly. Heat washed over Ray’s face. Here he was, 36 years old, and talking about getting it on with another man. This was… weird. Mostly weird.

“I just want to know what it’s like,” Ray said quietly. Yeah, I want to know what it’s like to be the sole object of your attention, I want to know what it’s like when you let go, I want to know what it’s like to be touched by you, Ray thought but didn’t say. “And I want you to show me,” Ray added instead.

“All right,” Fraser said quietly and it caught Ray off-guard, again, to be reminded that Fraser had had sex with other men on his free nights, when the lights at the Consulate were off.

Ray stared at his partner. Fraser looked lost in thought. Wherever he had dragged this answer from it must’ve been a complicated process.

“Really?”

Fraser smiled at him as if he were a bit slow.

“After a good night’s sleep when you’ve had time to think about it, obviously.”

Ray’s face fell. “You think this is some sort of adrenaline craze, right?”

“I’m not claiming anything. I simply don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I won’t,” Ray replied petulantly, wringing a small smile from Fraser.

“Then you will still want to tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” Fraser’s eyes sparkled good-naturedly. “I would avail myself of your couch again if you have no objections.”

Ray deflated a little. “Sure, go ahead. I’ll be in my bed then.”

“Have a good night, Ray.”

“…you, too.”

Despite Ray’s best efforts to stay awake and think things through he fell asleep almost the moment his head touched the pillow.

He was startled awake by a feeling of panic and shock quite early in the morning. Heart racing, Ray took in his surroundings.

His own apartment, check. His own bed, check. Alone, check. Ray took a deep breath. He had sex. With Fraser. With a man… though he didn’t know which fact was more shocking.

Ray replayed the scene in the shower again in his mind’s eye. He smiled. He had sex with Fraser.

Ray wasn’t very good at thinking about things, he was better if he could get a hands-on approach. Stealthily, Ray climbed out of bed and shuffled out of the door. Fraser was still sleeping on the couch—a first, but it seemed to be a good day for those.

He drew closer and settled down on the floor at the foot of the couch. For a few minutes, Ray simply watched him sleep. He ached with tenderness when he saw Fraser like that; unprotected, vulnerable, pliable. When he slept— at least when he entered the level of deep sleep, not that corpse-like posture he usually fell asleep in— it was hard to imagine him in full uniform. Sleeping, he was just Fraser. Just Ben.

Ray reached out— knowing that this was probably one hell of a bad idea, but Fraser had forgiven him for worse errors in judgment. Gently, he settled his hand on Fraser’s thigh on top of the blanket. Slowly, his hand glided down to Fraser’s knee and up again.

Ray bit his lip and leaned forward a little so that he could reach Fraser’s waist. Again, Ray’s hand set out on a journey, over the soft material of Fraser’s undershirt, up his side and down his stomach where a sliver of skin was showing. Tentatively, Ray’s fingers stroked that patch of skin. It was warm and soft and Ray’s hand crept the tiniest bit below the fabric of the shirt.

Fraser stirred then and blinked slowly awake. Dark eyes looked at Ray, slightly unfocused with sleep, and Fraser’s pink tongue darted out for an instant, wetting his lips while he raised himself up on his elbows to meet Ray’s gaze.

“Ray.” Fraser’s voice was questioning and it was slightly hoarse from disuse during the night.

Ray’s fingers had frozen in place, but they resumed their slow caress now, slipping further up Fraser’s stomach.

“You said in the morning… if I still wanted to…” His fingers stole their way down, encountering the downy hairs that trailed down from Fraser’s bellybutton and Fraser took a surprised breath.

“Yes, I—yes,” Fraser murmured as Ray playfully stroked along the elastic of the boxer briefs.

Ray bit his lip and fit his palm over Fraser’s growing erection, just holding him. Fraser sighed and he dropped back down on his back in most un-Mountie-like fashion.

Growing bolder, Ray tightened his hold, lightly squeezing Fraser through the fabric and he was rewarded with Fraser’s accelerated breathing. Ray rubbed firmly, causing Fraser’s hips to come up to meet him, and then Ray’s hand trailed down, dipping between Fraser’s legs who let them fall open easily, giving Ray access to whatever he wanted to explore.

Gently, Ray held Fraser’s testicles until he saw Fraser trying to thrust against him. Ray’s fingers zeroed in on the tell-tale wet spot that was spreading rapidly and Fraser choked on a sob when Ray mapped out the rim, right underneath the gland. “ _Ray_ …”

Ray had only heard him once like that, open and needy, yesterday in the shower. His heart was beating rapidly as Ray eased down Fraser’s shorts. No chickening out now, Ray told himself.

Fraser gasped and pushed into Ray’s hand and Ray tried to figure out the angle. It was easier than he had imagined. It felt silky and hot in his hand and he knew exactly what Fraser was feeling right at this very moment.

Ray grinned and gave it a tug and was rewarded by an urgent moan. Oh yeah, he could get behind this.

He climbed up on the couch and settled over Fraser’s legs. Fraser’s chest was flushed and his dark hair curled over his forehead. Ray sped up his hand and leaned down. He touched his lips to Fraser’s chest and felt Fraser’s hands suddenly in his hair.

Ray used one hand to brace himself next to Fraser’s shoulder and sought his mouth and he couldn’t get over the fact of how eagerly Fraser met him or what a turn-on it was reducing Fraser to this panting mess.

Ray pumped his hand in quick succession and Fraser strained against the couch, gasping open-mouthed as his hips jerked and he spilled all over Ray’s hand.

Slowly, Fraser licked his lips and opened his eyes to look at Ray.

Ray had no idea what kind of picture he presented, sitting more or less on Fraser’s legs, aroused beyond belief, and his hand covered in come that wasn’t his own.

Fraser raised himself up and his hands came up to hold Ray. The kiss was languid and slow and when Fraser pulled away he murmured, “Do you want my mouth on you?”

“I— _Jesus_ …” Ray’s cock throbbed at the mere thought and Fraser reached down and felt him twitch.

“Oh god,” Ray moaned and lifted up so that Fraser could extricate himself. Fraser pushed him over and immediately attached his mouth to the nearest spot of skin he could find.

Ray was lost. He didn’t stand a chance. Fraser was the guy who put anything in his mouth—and this was apparently something he liked putting into his mouth so Ray was rendered inarticulate from the get go.

“Oh—I—Frase—” Ray babbled senselessly. Fraser’s mouth was hot and wet and not at all shy or hesitant. Stella had always tried not to be too messy and with all blowjobs Ray had ever gotten the women had been careful not to get choked.

“Oh god…” Fraser seemed to have no such fears. He simply seemed to love sucking cock, the more he could fit in, the better.

Helpless, Ray’s fingers scrabbled for a purchase and found a place in Fraser’s hair to hold on to. The first tremor rocked him and Ray tugged on Fraser’s hair. “Frase… Ben… I’m going to—”

Like a vice, Fraser’s fingers clamped around the base of Ray’s cock to prevent him from coming and he pulled his mouth off.

Ray whimpered softly and then Fraser’s face was right above his.

“You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to, Ray,” Fraser said in a low voice. “You don’t have to be careful.” He slowly stroked Ray’s erection and Ray bit back a moan.

“Please… your mouth…” Ray gasped and he saw a flash of a smile flit over Fraser’s face before he dipped his head again.

“ _Ahh_ ,” Ray cried out as Fraser’s mouth enveloped him once again. Ray held Fraser’s head close and when he came, Fraser tightened his mouth on him and swallowed.

Fraser raised a hand to catch a drop that he had missed at the corner of his mouth before his dark eyes focused on Ray once more. He raised himself up a little to lie down next to Ray.

Ray closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. “I think,” he licked his dry lips. I think I love you. “That was the best blowjob of my life.”

Fraser seemed amused. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Ray shook his head and chuckled. “‘Enjoyed it’ is the understatement of the year.”

Fraser looked at his watch and his eyes turned serious. “I need to get to work.”

“What?” Ray scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake up.

“I’ve only taken half the day off. I saw no reason why I shouldn’t go in once I had rested a little.”

Ray sighed. Fraser brought the same dedication to his undercover assignments that he did for standard duty.

“And we still haven’t found a definite connection between the _Skydeep_ and the company of Mr. Meissner.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

Fraser showered and then hesitated when he reached for the door. “I—thank you for… thank you, Ray.”

Bewildered, Ray shook his head. “If anyone’s got to say ‘thanks’ it’s me, Frase. Pleasure was all mine,” he winked.

Fraser smiled. “I would say the pleasure was mutual.”

“Yeah,” Ray smiled back. “It was.”

Ray headed for a shower himself. They had never gotten around to writing their report the night before. Ray’s face burned… yes, because they had been too busy fucking in the shower.

God, he was so screwed. His best friend, his partner… and a man. Somehow that last bit didn’t seem quite as important as the rest. Probably because Ray didn’t think he was gay now… though jerking a guy off had to be pretty gay on the scale. But it was just Fraser who made him think gay things, that had to count for something.

So Ray went to the station to get the paperwork done. He wanted this done by the book so that when the time came there was no loophole that any attorney could abuse to get his client off the hook. Then Ray went to talk strategy with Welsh. He relayed the information they had gathered and Welsh nodded gravely.

“To be frank, Detective, I feel like raiding the whole mess they call a club.”

“Except then you don’t get to nail them on anything real.”

Welsh sighed. “So, what do you propose?”

Ray shrugged, not altogether happy. “Fraser’s trying to find some proof that the company runs the drug business at the club. I’ll try to find a few of the men that went missing for a night and see what I can get out of them, maybe one of them would be willing to testify against them. Until we find that evidence we’ll try not to tip our hand. Fraser thinks that they would clear the place out if they knew we were on to them.”

“He’s probably right. Okay, I have your backs on this. But, Detective, you be careful out there and you get that evidence.”

Ray tipped his non-existent hat. “Will do, Lieu.”

Finding someone was easier said than done. Fraser had mostly gotten first names of the men and Ray tried not to think about the fact that Fraser didn’t need last names from the men he met. And since they all had shown up again sometime the next day there were no missing person files on any of them.

He sifted through newspaper clippings, looking for any sort of report, maybe of someone found wandering around on their own in the early hours of the morning, anything about the _Skydeep_ , but it was slow work.

The next day, Ray went for a more active approach. The gay community was the prime example that the world was a goddamn village, everybody knew everyone else. Ray figured, if he went back to the friends of the men who died from an overdose chances were that one of them knew someone whose friend had gone missing for a night.

When Ray could finally collapse on his couch that evening he was beat. He felt like he had run all over Chicago talking to people. At least he had a list with names now and even if a few of them had been simple drunk accidents where someone had gotten separated from his friends there was bound to be a victim on that list.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Ray dragged his ass off the couch and opened it.

“Good evening, Ray. The door downstairs was ajar; I hope you don’t mind…” Fraser explained, rubbing at his eyebrow.

“It’s good to see you,” Ray said, a smile spreading over his tired face.

“And you, too,” Ray amended when he caught the shock of white fur half hidden behind Fraser. Dief grumbled and Ray’s smile widened into a grin. When had this become his life?

Fraser got him up-to-date over an order of Thai food.

“I claimed having to check something with one of the bills to get access to the books.”

“Fraser, you lied,” Ray exclaimed delighted. “You’re learning.”

Fraser pulled at his collar. “Well, it isn’t a skill I am very proud of, but I didn’t see an alternative.”

“So what did you find out?”

“I was hoping to find some reference to Push. I didn’t find it, but I found more claims for the _Skydeep_.” Fraser reached for his hat and pulled a piece of paper out. “This is a list of the dates. Do you think you could check if they coincided with VIP visits? This might in fact be how they entertain certain executive managers.”

“Sure, I’ll ask Jack.” Ray pocketed the note. “So what do we do about the drugs? I mean I’ll try getting those witness statements, but there has to be a paper trail, right? Shipments, transport, there has to be some kind of written statement for us to find.”

“I agree. I’ll keep looking. It might be hidden with other regular shipments… or I am looking in the wrong place,” Fraser looked thoughtful for a second. “It’s rather late,” he said slowly. “Thank you for your hospitality, Ray. I think we’ll go now.”

Ray didn’t want him to go and he didn’t want to act as if nothing had happened between them. Only yesterday morning, Ray had had Fraser flushed with arousal and gasping his name. No, it was too soon to be over already.

He tried to come up with the right words to say, but Fraser was already at the door, Dief hot on his heels. Fraser reached for the door handle and Ray reacted on a gut feeling and placed his hand flat on the door.

Surprised, Fraser looked at Ray. “Ray?”

“Listen, you can go home to your bed and sleep… or you can stay and teach me how to blow you.” Ray’s voice was low and his stomach was fluttering nervously.

Fraser made a wild noise in the back of his throat. “Dief,” he said quietly, without taking his eyes off Ray. “Would you please excuse us?”

Dief’s whine sounded long-suffering, but he sauntered into the kitchen anyway

It seemed that with Fraser Ray couldn’t be gay enough. And it wasn’t just the thought of sucking him off that made desire coil at the base of his spine. It was the thought of being naked with him, feeling him… making love to him. _Damn_ … Ray simply knew him too well not to fall in love with him. Because Fraser was smart and funny, in his own wacky way, and he was brave and just about the best guy Ray had ever met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay, guys :( RL is a bit overwhelming at the moment. Next chapter will be up on Tuesday :) Thanks for sticking with me


	6. Chapter 6

_~*~_

_Warm fingers touched his throat and Fraser’s pulse jumped at the contact._

_“He’s still alive… it would be a pity if his heart gave out,” the dark-haired man murmured regretfully. “I’m sure our customers would know how to fully appreciate him.”_

_Fraser wanted to pull away from the inquisitive fingers, but his body didn’t obey. He didn’t even feel his hands anymore; he knew that they had to be still chained behind his back, but he couldn’t tell. His body felt detached from everything he was feeling._

_Except for his racing heartbeat. That seemed to fill his whole being._

_~*~_

Ray spent the next day trying not to think too much about the way Fraser looked when Ray got him off, that and interviewing potential witnesses.

The first two swore that nothing had happened to them, they had simply fallen asleep drunk in a corner—or that’s what they told him. The third one started with the same dance routine and Ray was really fed up with it and getting a bit desperate.

“You really want me to believe that three people searched the whole club for you unable to find you and you were simply, what, wandering around? Hiding behind the jukebox, what?”

“Yes, I swear—I was just… drunk.”

“Drunk?” Ray echoed flatly. “Here’s what I think. I think you were on Push. And I think you took a little too much maybe. What do you think of that, Joey?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” He shouted. “I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING, OKAY?”

That stopped Ray in his tracks. “What do you mean ‘you can’t remember anything’?”

Joey Carusso shrugged. “Just what I said. I took Push, yeah… someone chatted me up and offered me some. And that’s the last thing I remember. Next thing I knew I was in some kind of alley not too far from the club and it was already beginning to dawn. I was… I was…” Joey’s face scrunched up as he tried not to cry. “I was in really bad shape… I had marks and br-bruises all over my body… but I didn’t remember any of it…”

Ray closed his eyes, knowing all too clearly what must’ve caused those marks.

“Why didn’t you report it to the police? Why didn’t you confide in any of your friends?”

“Are you kidding? The police would’ve done a drug test and I would’ve been out on my ass again. I didn’t want to get into any trouble… and I wanted to tell my friends… I just couldn’t. I didn’t want them to know…”

Ray sighed. He had talked to too many rape victims to know that talking about it was the hardest part. “I understand. Do you remember anything about the man who offered you the drugs?”

Joey almost smiled. “Good-looking, that’s all I can remember. Tall, dark hair, very light skin—a Slavic touch maybe... young, but older than me.”

So it wasn’t any of the four VIPs Ray had seen.

“I’m sorry for what has happened to you and I promise you we’re going to get those bastards.”

Joey nodded.

Ray left, pondering the story. Push didn’t affect memory, so they had to use some kind of amnesia pill. Very convenient, the victims didn’t remember anything useful and were too shocked and ashamed to report it. What they needed, Ray thought, was to catch them right at it, stir things up a little at the next VIP meeting. Maybe Fraser had more luck.

Fraser had traced shipments, trying to find one that vanished at one point or stayed unaccounted for. He hadn’t been very successful, though.

Ray recounted his day and his idea of setting them up. “I’m back at the club on Friday and I’ll ask Jack for the next VIP visit. We can arrange the whole thing with the feds as soon as we know more. We’ll take the whole joint down.”

“It might take some time to convince them of our evidence. So far all we know is that there is a back room for questionable purposes.”

“Questionable purposes? They drug them and rape them, how is that questionable?” Ray exclaimed furiously. “I bet we can match my list of men that went missing with the tapes and we’d score. So we’ll nail them with their pants down and we’ll have enough evidence to bust them for the drugs as well.”

“Yes, we will.”

Fraser’s eyes were soft and something tugged at Ray to touch him again. Funny how, just a short while ago, Ray hadn’t even been sure if he wanted to kiss him and now he wanted to take Fraser to bed more than anything.

Ray’s thoughts must’ve been easy to read for Fraser’s lips twitched into an amused smile and when Ray took a step in the direction of his bedroom Fraser followed without another word.

They’d been kissing for ages and Ray knew if he didn’t stop Fraser right now then he’d never get to ask him, he’d be too blissed out coming all over the place to care how Fraser got him there.

But he knew what he wanted and even though it scared the hell out of him he needed this. He just didn’t know how to ask.

Because Fraser hadn’t been pushing him for it—had apparently even decided that this was way out of bounds—without ever consulting Ray in the matter, of course. But there was little else Ray had been thinking of lately. This was wrong on so many levels.

And when had his body even decided to get off on stuff like that? He’d lived a happily normal heterosexual sex life—not once had he even thought about this… until, of course, he’d thought about Fraser doing it and why should this time have been any different? It was always Fraser who made him think funny thoughts—not the haha-kind of funny either.

Fraser was pretty much textbook for funny business.

“Frase,” Ray gasped when Fraser wasn’t busy licking into his mouth and biting at his lips—and god, he had real talent for that. If all Canadians could use their tongue like that it was a good thing they’d never seriously thought about invading the United States. Ray’d gladly cross over to the other side if it kissed like that.

“Can we—could you—” and Ray knew what he wanted to ask: ‘make love to me?’ He just feared that the word was too big and then everything would be over. Of course it was making love—Ray had hardly gotten crazy over some other guy’s dick before. But maybe there was no need to tell the Mountie that just yet.

Fraser’s fingers pressed Ray’s hands flat against the mattress as he rubbed their groins together. Ray moaned out loud only to have Fraser covering his mouth again for one more of his dirty kisses. He couldn’t say ‘I want to sleep with you’ because, really, what kind of person said something like that?

That was for people who said that they wanted to go to bed early instead of simply saying they wanted to screw each other rotten. What else was there? Oh yes, he could do it like in one of those 19th century romances, moan about wanting to feel Fraser inside of him—Ray would’ve laughed at the thought of saying that out loud had Fraser not rolled his hips in perfect counter-point just then.

“Oh, Jesus…” Ray croaked, straining against Fraser’s grip on his hands. Needless to say to no avail. Fraser didn’t relent. He never did. His tongue plunged in again and Ray slung his leg over the small of his back to press him close, get some more friction and—“Yes, god,” Ray shouted as his climax overtook him. Fraser was simply too good at this. At least Ray’s mouth finally got with the program.

“Fuck me,” Ray mumbled into Fraser’s ear that was conveniently close to his mouth. “God, Frase, you gotta fuck me,” he rasped weakly.

Fraser’s head reared back and he stared intently at Ray with dark, glowing eyes, breathing hard. For a moment Ray thought he wanted to say something or ask something, but then Fraser just nodded with a slightly off-kilter smile—as if he knew something good that Ray didn’t.

“I have…supplies,” Ray murmured, gesturing at the drawer next to the bed. Fraser reached inside and came up with a small bottle of lube. Ray knew the moment Fraser looked at it he would realize that it was an almost brand-new bottle. It was almost completely full. Ray had only bought it because he wanted… to feel Fraser. He’d only experimented a little with one or two fingers to get an idea—boy, had he gotten an idea. Enough to think that this might be a mind-altering experience.

Fraser bit his lip and the smile on his face made his eyes crinkle. Calmly, Fraser reached between Ray’s legs to smooth a finger over Ray’s hole. Ray felt the blood flow to his cheeks and Fraser’s gaze never left Ray’s face. With sure movements, Fraser slicked up his fingers, smiling a little at Ray as he moved his fingers back between his legs.

Gently, he spread the lube over the small opening, just barely dipping in and Ray gasped—eyes locked with Fraser as he pushed his fingers in, stretching Ray slowly.

“ _Ah_ —I—god,” Ray’s fingers scrabbled over the sheet looking for something to grasp. Fraser looked as if he had all the time in the world to open Ray up, but Ray let his gaze wander down and he could see that Fraser was leaking precome, his erection was bobbing ever so softly with every breath he took. This veneer of patience… this was just for Ray.

Fraser leaned down over him, almost close enough to press his lips to Ray’s. “Relax,” Fraser murmured, and pushed a third finger in. Ray’s moan rose in pitch. This was different than his own fingers—better, god, so much better. Their lips came together and Ray had a hard time breathing. Ray’s fingers curled tightly into Fraser’s nape. “I’ve never—this is the first time I’ve—” Ray panted, feeling a twinge of fear.

Fraser’s eyes were impossibly dark. His lips stretched into another half-smile as his tongue flicked out to wet them. “You’ve never been taken by a man,” Fraser repeated for him. It wasn’t a question and Fraser seemed to take a certain pleasure from that.

“N-no,” Ray stuttered, suddenly embarrassed by his own lack of experience.

“Trust me,” Fraser said, followed by a soft, full kiss.

“I do,” Ray nodded. Really, what did Fraser think? That Ray would just do this with anyone?

Fraser’s fingers withdrew and the next thing Ray knew, Fraser pushed a pillow underneath his hips. Ray placed his legs over Fraser’s arms and then he felt Fraser push in. It seemed much too big, way bigger than Ray thought was possible—there was no way that could fit—

“Shh, relax,” Fraser soothed. “Bear down, it’ll help.” Fraser didn’t move, he didn’t push, instead he bent his head down to trail kisses over Ray’s chest. Wet, open-mouthed imprints of Fraser’s lips and Ray concentrated on that instead. He remembered to breathe and he tried to think of the feeling when he had used his own fingers, the way he had to consciously relax to let them in and then it had been easy.

Fraser slipped in further then and Ray thought the stretch was impossible, it just didn’t stop, and then Fraser was all the way in. Fraser gasped for breath and his arms were shaking. Ray had never seen him look this good.

Ray made a soft noise in the back of his throat. “Frase…” he whispered, awed and a little shaken. He pulled him down to feel his lips again. He could feel Fraser moving inside of him; the fullness of it, the stretch, it was a turn-on like nothing else. It felt like a tingle somewhere deep inside and Ray wondered if this was what girls felt, too. Ray was so into it he hardly noticed how his body moved in counter-point to Fraser’s thrust or how he kept babbling nonsense words and curses.

“Ready?” Fraser panted with that same I-know-something-you-don’t expression on his face he’d had earlier.

Ray’s brain wasn’t coherent enough to come up with an answer to that one—he wasn’t even sure if he knew what the question was. He knew the next instant, though. Fraser changed his grip slightly and altered his angle, just a little—and suddenly he rubbed against a spot inside that made Ray throb with need.

Ray threw his head back as he panted for breath, Fraser’s name on his lips. Fraser chuckled breathlessly and kept hitting that spot—that awesome itch, that—whatever it was.

“Touch me…” Ray rasped and he couldn’t even remember the last time someone had made him come twice in so many hours. Sure fingers closed around his cock and Ray buried his face in the pillow to smother his moan.

“ _God_ —” his whole body went taut. Later he’d swear that he shook from the tips of his toes to the tips of his hair as his orgasm ripped through him. When he had used his own fingers it had been a nice spark. This was an explosion the size of a planet. Ray couldn’t say if he saw white or black or if he was even still there.

And Fraser lost the last bit of restraint, pounding into him strong enough to leave bruises and Ray felt sharp teeth sinking into his shoulder as Fraser came. He could even feel the pulse of Fraser’s cock. The weirdest feeling ever.

“My god, Ray…” Fraser gasped and Ray agreed with a wordless nod. Carefully, Fraser reached between them and pulled out. It was strange feeling so empty suddenly… and wet. Fraser moved up on his knees and reached out to touch the rim of Ray’s hole. Ray shivered a little. It felt a little raw, but it didn’t really hurt. Just a feeling he wasn’t used to Ray supposed.

The hand withdrew and Fraser pressed a single kiss to Ray’s hipbone. “You might be a bit tender. Best put on some salve once you’re cleaned up,” he smiled. Ray reached out to pull him close again and Fraser molded himself effortlessly against Ray’s body.

It was a strangely vulnerable feeling, having let Fraser in like that. Ray didn’t think he could ever go back to the way things were before. This went too deep. He drowned his thoughts in another kiss.

After a while, Fraser pulled back. “Are you all right, Ray?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, never better,” Ray murmured. He threaded their legs together and made his head comfortable on Fraser’s chest. “Can we just stay here for a moment?” he slurred. He felt the chuckle rumble through Fraser’s ribcage. “Certainly, Ray.”

When Ray came out of his doze it was to the feeling of Fraser’s fingertips smoothing over his cheekbones and the thumb dragging along his bottom lip. Fraser’s eyes softened as he noticed Ray looking at him.

“Was it what you had expected?” Fraser asked, sounding amused.

Ray grinned and shook his head. “No, this was… somehow more…” he shrugged; he really couldn’t put this connection he had felt with Fraser into words. Fraser’s gaze turned serious.

“Is it always like that?” Ray asked, feeling a little stupid, but not enough to stop the words from coming out. Warm hands trailed over Ray’s naked chest as Fraser answered, carefully not looking at Ray’s face. “No, not always.”

Ray couldn’t decipher if Fraser was unhappy about that or not. Maybe this had been making love after all. He placed his hand on Fraser’s chest and bent down to kiss him. “Then I guess we just have to make sure I’ll get the hang of this,” he murmured before his lips touched Fraser’s.

Fraser’s hand came up to stop him and he sat up.

“Frase?” Ray asked, confused.

“I’m sorry, Ray…” Fraser looked like he regretted it, too. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Panic washed over Ray like a sudden draft in an otherwise pleasantly warm room.

“I thought I could… but I can’t.” Fraser reached down to pick up his shirt.

“So that’s it?” Ray intoned tonelessly.

Fraser hung his head and sighed. He pulled his boxer briefs on and turned to Ray with beseeching eyes.

“You have to believe me when I tell you that your friendship is invaluable to me. I could never risk that and… I… I can’t continue with this charade.”

Ow… Ray flinched. That stung . A charade… so that’s what Fraser thought this was. There wasn’t enough for the real thing so Fraser was only acting his part. God, this hurt. Ray’s heart ached. He had known that Fraser wasn’t interested in him like that… and he couldn’t really blame Fraser for any of this mess. Ray had started this whole thing and Fraser hadn’t promised him anything.

“Okay,” Ray’s voice was scratchy and he didn’t get more past his closed-up throat. He swallowed heavily. “I get it… it’s okay…” Maybe he was telling himself that and not Fraser.

Fraser had shrugged on his shirt and was pulling on his jeans. “I can’t lose my best friend,” he said quietly.

“I don’t want to either,” Ray whispered with a constricting heart.

Fraser’s hand covered Ray’s. “Thank you, Ray… for everything.”

Why was Fraser thanking him? Was that his way to end a pity fuck? Thanks, it’s been real?

“…yeah…” Ray mumbled and watched Fraser walk out the door. He heard him call for Dief and a moment later the door shut behind them. Ray was alone.

He buried his face in his knees and tried to hold it together. So Fraser didn’t feel the same way about him… big deal… Ray pretended the soft noise at the back of his throat wasn’t a sob.

He kept busy enough the next day and tried not to think too much of Fraser. Ray was glad when Friday rolled around and he could set things into motion. He supposed that he should be grateful the thing with Fraser ended the way it did and not much later or in a fight. But it wasn’t much of a consolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh... this is kind of embarrassing. I proclaimed that this would be another 10 chapter feast... and I only now realized that it's actually just 8 chapters ^^   
> Well, that means for you that you at least won't have to wait so long for the conclusion. I'll use my fingers to count my chapters next time, maybe that'll help ;)


	7. Chapter 7

_~*~_

_Fraser let his head hang, he simply didn’t have the energy to keep it up anymore. Cold was seeping in, but he almost welcomed it, it was peaceful._

_With half-open eyes, Fraser watched the shallow rise and fall of his chest._

_His ears were filled with the sound of his own blood._

_He wouldn’t make it out of here on his own._

_~*~_

Ray tried to concentrate on getting the bar ready, but his heart wasn’t in it. He smashed a glass in the process and cursed when he cut himself on the shards. Jack knelt down next to him to help him clean up.

“What’s eating you today, Stan?”

“Nothing,” Ray brushed it aside and reached for the next bigger chunk of glass.

“Don’t bullshit me. I can smell man-trouble a hundred paces against the wind.”

Ray smiled at that. “I was stupid and you were right, can we leave it at that?”

Jack frowned for a second. “Oh. Ben wrote you a Dear John letter, huh? Telling you it would never work out and all that bs?”

“Something like that. Actually, he told me he was tired of acting like this meant something.”

“Ouch,” Jack winced.

“Yeah… should’ve known better.”

“Someone else will come along,” Jack exclaimed heartily.

See, Ray thought, that was the difference between being gay and whatever Fraser had done to him. Ray didn’t care for someone else to come along; he just didn’t care for guys like that.

Work helped at least and Ray could focus on mixing drinks, opening beer bottles, or washing glasses. When Jack restocked the fridge, Ray sidled up to him.

“Hey, I could use the distraction—do we have any VIPs visiting in the near future?” Might as well make the most of his situation, Ray thought.

“This VIP thing really tickles you, huh?”

“I’m always curious when people send me out of the room.” Ray grinned unrepentantly.

Jack shook his head with a smile. “Actually, Philly said we’d have another group tomorrow—a big crowd apparently. He said something about 6 people, which is about the largest we ever had.”

That would really be worth the money, Ray conceded. The sooner they could wrap this thing up the better.

“Greatness, so they’ll be here the same time as the last ones?”

“Guess so. Why, what’s it to you?”

Ray shrugged casually. “Nothing, really. I was just trying to keep my mind off of things.”

“I get that,” Jack said. “Oh, speaking of the devil.” He nodded towards the entrance. And sure enough there was Fraser coming down the stairs.

Ray hadn’t even noticed that the room had begun to fill and he supposed that Fraser was a little early.

Fraser’s gaze locked on his and Ray noticed that he looked a little tight around the eyes. When he saw Ray, however, a small smile appeared on his lips making the whole face seem younger. At least Fraser was being a good buddy about this.

Ray had been afraid to find Fraser in best spirits and he hadn’t been sure whether he would’ve survived seeing him happy about ending whatever it had been between them… a charade, Fraser had said.

Ray steeled himself—or he tried to. He expected Fraser to find someone else tonight, someone who suited his needs better than Ray. Fraser hadn’t even been there for more than 5 minutes and already a guy was chatting him up… Fraser would have it real easy to replace Ray.

And Ray… Ray had a turtle, beer in the fridge, and a remote control. God, he was pathetic. No wonder Fraser wasn’t interested in him like that.

Ray continued watching him throughout the evening, but he didn’t seem hell-bent on picking somebody up. If anything he seemed more withdrawn… maybe he was just decent enough to spare Ray the misery of having to watch it.

Later, when Fraser ordered one of his notorious waters, their fingers brushed when Ray slid the glass in front of him.

When Fraser withdrew his hand, Ray had a small slip of paper between his fingers. His heart beat like the wings of a butterfly as Ray opened the note.

“Would you kindly give me a ride? I’ll wait by the car.”

At first Ray felt disappointed. Some little glimmer inside of him had hoped… whatever, it was stupid to imagine Fraser would suddenly change his mind. But this was buddies, back to normal… at least they had that. Ray swallowed against the bitter taste. It just wasn’t enough—not after having had Fraser. Not nearly enough.

The car was filled with a corporeal silence and Ray was really out of words. What did you say after the guy you had been sleeping with told you he wasn’t interested in you? …what did you say when that guy was your best friend… maybe the only real friend you had?

You can sleep on the couch again. “Should I drop you off at the Consulate?” No more rejection.

“I would appreciate it,” Fraser replied stiffly. What now? Ray thought angrily. Fraser really had no right to be touchy about the whole thing—at least he had gotten some and from what Ray remembered it hadn’t been half-bad for him either.

Ray didn’t get it. Was he the only one who had felt this connection when they had… sex? He had been about to say ‘made love’, but after the most recent update Ray felt like a right fool for even thinking about it.

Ray counted silently to ten.

“The next VIP meeting is tomorrow night,” he told the windshield.

Fraser’s head swiveled around to look at him. “Ray, that’s good work.”

Ray shrugged. “I figured I’ll set the whole thing up with the feds tomorrow morning. Give them as much info as we have and then hope they’ll catch the damn bastards.”

“We might be able to give them even more,” Fraser said with a smile. “I have reason to believe that I have found the warehouse where the drugs are stored.”

“You’re kidding!” Ray exclaimed, flicking a glance at Fraser in the front seat. “And you didn’t bother telling me that earlier?”

“It hardly seemed an appropriate conversation to have with the barkeeper,” Fraser reminded him. “I had planned on meeting you before your shift started, but Mr. Meissner’s right-hand man, Sasha Peters, kept me busy longer than I had anticipated.”

Ray waved it off. “Yeah, okay. Wouldn’t have changed anything anyway. So, how did you do it?”

Fraser pulled two sheets of paper from his pocket and gave the information on it another onceover.

“I noticed a recurring shipment that is only imported by Meissner & Fish and then sold on to another company. I checked that company and it split into a network of other companies and whenever I tried to get some information on any of those I ended up with another list of companies. They only had one thing in common: each and every one of them featured at least one of three recurring names. One of them you have met personally, a Mr. Toru Takeda. Another is Sylvester Morgan; he belongs to the board of directors.”

“I remember him.” That was why the man with the thinning hair that had accompanied Takeda had been familiar. His had been with the other photos in the folder from the feds when they had briefed Fraser. “He was with that first VIP group.”

“That leaves the last one. His name is Aleksandr Petrovich, but he doesn’t seem to exist.” Fraser smoothed his thumb over his eyebrow. “Well, that isn’t correct as such. I could find all the official documents, birth certificate, social security number, but except for numbers he doesn’t seem to have a life. There are no current records.”

“Huh… okay, and where does the warehouse come in?”

“It was the only address underneath all these empty companies. It’s not listed as a business and its ownership is hidden by another bureaucratic trail of paperwork.”

Ray nodded as his mind slotted the different parts together to form a plan. “Good… let’s do the feds first tomorrow morning, then we can go and brief Jack at the club because he’s a good kid and I think it would help us to have someone on the inside, and then we can go and check out that warehouse before all hell breaks loose in the evening. Sounds like a plan?”

“I’m afraid Mr. Peters has requested my assistance for a few hours tomorrow morning and I didn’t think it wise to raise any suspicions before the operation is over.”

“What the hell has he got you doing on a Saturday?” Ray snapped.

“I haven’t been fully briefed at this point. As I understood it I am supposed to help with the preparations for the meeting with a group of business associates that will arrive later in the afternoon— the VIP visitors if we are not mistaken.”

“You be careful, all right?” Ray said with an uneasy twist in his gut.

“Of course, Ray. I will meet you at the _Skydeep_ around 2 PM and we can go to the warehouse together.”

“Sounds good.”

Ray pulled up at the Consulate and watched Fraser vanish inside. He sighed and rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment. He felt like crying. He had been so much better off not knowing how much more there was to Fraser… did Fraser have to point it out? Why couldn’t Fraser have said ‘thanks, but no thanks’ right there in the shower—or at least afterwards at Ray’s apartment? Couldn’t he have said ‘sorry, I’m not into you’ and leave Ray untouched?

Just one more day, Ray reminded himself, and then all the gay stuff would be over and Ray could shut the door on the alternate life he had glimpsed and Fraser could go back to picking up strangers in secret and Ray would never have to know.

Bleary-eyed, Ray dragged his tired body to the station the next morning after way too little sleep. He yawned and took another big gulp of coffee. He was too old for partying all night and then going back to work. He rapped on Lieutenant Welsh’s door.

It seemed to take hours to explain everything. He drew maps of the club, he recounted again what they had seen on the tapes, and he handed them the signed witness statement of Joey Carusso. Ray talked himself hoarse ticking off things on his fingers: the VIPs, the hidden room, the fake companies registered by a lot of hot air and the same three men, the effects of Push, and the papers with the warehouse details.

When he was finished, Welsh thumbed his nose and the federal agents smiled for the first time since the meeting began and congratulated themselves on their good work. Ray suppressed rolling his eyes.

They discussed where to position people inside and outside of the club so as not to warn anyone that the trap was about to snap shut and Ray left feeling fairly good about this plan.

It was already closer to half past 2 when Ray entered the club. He had tried calling Fraser, but he didn’t pick up. The reception inside of the club was probably dead. Jack looked up confused when he saw him.

“Stan? What are you doing here? Your shift doesn’t start for another 4 hours—hell, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t my job to organize the store rooms.”

Ray looked around with a sickened feeling.

“Ben hasn’t been here yet I take it?” Ray said, taking another look around just to be sure.

“Ben? Man, what are you talking about? Are you drunk?”

“Jack, listen, this is important. Have you seen Ben at all today?”

“No,” Jack said as if Ray was daft. “Why should he have come here hours before we open up?”

Ray’s hands felt clammy as he reached for his badge. He held it out to Jack.

“I’m Detective Ray Vecchio and Ben is my partner. We are investigating the drug that circulates the _Skydeep_. Ben was supposed to meet me here to set up the operation for tonight.”

Jack stared at him with his mouth hanging open. “I hit on a cop,” he exclaimed, shocked. “Shit, I’m sorry, I thought you were—”

Ray grinned. “Relax, I’m flattered. It’s not against the law to chat up an officer.” His gaze turned serious again. _Fraser, where are you?_

“Here’s the deal. There’s a whole thing going on with your VIPs in this club and tonight we’ll bust them and their whole stinking operation. You’ll have undercover agents in here tonight and I assured them that you would cooperate.”

Jack was still staring at him as if he had just become part of the latest CSI episode.

“Will you?” Ray snapped and Jack nodded his head vigorously.

“Good, okay, here’s the number of my Lieutenant.” Ray scribbled Welsh’s number on a piece of paper. “Call him to give you the details—tell him Detective Vecchio told you to. And tell him that Fraser is in trouble.”

“Fraser?” Jack asked with an empty expression on his face.

“Yeah, Ben, Benton Fraser. My partner.”

“Oh, sure. I will. What about you?”

“I’ll go rescue that damn Mountie… again.”

“Mou—” Jack began, but Ray interrupted him.

“Don’t even _ask_. If all goes well,” – and it better – “I’ll see you later for the grand-slam.”

Ray left in a hurry to get back to the GTO. Shit. Now what? Ray ruffled his hair in agitation. Fraser had said he was going in to work this morning, something about Peters asking him to, and then he had wanted to come to the club. Well, he wasn’t here now so something about that work schedule must’ve gone wrong.

With unease, Ray remembered the cell he hadn’t been able to reach. Maybe something had gone more than a little wrong.

Maybe Fraser’s cover had been blown. Maybe taking those papers was the one thing that had given him away. Maybe they had been on to him for longer.

Where would they bring him? …the warehouse… maybe. If they hadn’t shot him. Cold sweat broke out over Ray’s back. No, he couldn’t think like that. And as sick as the thought was… Fraser had the looks… what if they had thought they could use him for tonight’s VIP program? God, Ray felt like gagging.

He wouldn’t allow them to hurt Fraser. Not on his watch.

For a moment Ray agonized over where to go, the warehouse or the company.

Ray got out his mobile and called dispatch.

“This is Detective Vecchio, I need you to trace a signal for me.” Ray rattled through the digits of Fraser’s mobile phone number. “Do you copy?”

“Copy that, Detective,” the female on duty replied and Ray felt that the minute it took to locate Fraser’s cell was long enough to create the next civilization.

“The signal comes from an industrial area—” she began and Ray sighed with relief. The warehouse then.

Ray reached the warehouse with screeching tires. There were no other cars to be seen, but that didn’t mean much. They could have parked them inside or at the back.

Ray checked his gun one more time before he got out of the car. Fraser had better be all right or bodies were going to pile up.

Getting inside was child’s play and Ray hoped this meant they weren’t expecting any company. Ray almost collided with a guard as he rounded a wall of crates. Breathing quietly, Ray drew back and plastered himself against the wall. He counted to three and then he rounded the corner and knocked the guard out. He caught him before he could drop to the ground.

Ray dragged him back and pulled him behind another set of crates.

You didn’t see nothing in this forest of containers, Ray thought with dismay. He needed to get higher up. Ray climbed the first crate and moved higher. He realized that he was on the left side of the building. His view was partially obscured by a metal bridge connecting one side with the other, but at least it shielded him from being immediately noticed as well.

Ray spread out low on his stomach to peer down beneath the bridge and his heart squeezed painfully tight when his eyes hit upon Fraser.

He was sitting on a chair with his hands bound behind his back, but from his lax posture Ray figured they didn’t really need the restraints. His head was lolling from side to side as if he couldn’t quite control it or as if he was trying to do something else but couldn’t gather the necessary strength.

_Miserable, low-life scum_ , Ray cursed under his breath. They had drugged him.

Ray took a deep breath. It wouldn’t do to lose his head now. Ray could see one more guard positioned a few feet behind Fraser, but they didn’t seem to expect trouble. Good, as long as they felt safe Ray had the element of surprise on his side.

He could make out two men in front of Fraser and was pretty sure he recognized Sylvester Morgan from his VIP visit. The other one was younger, of slender build, with very dark hair and fair skin. Ray thought of Joey’s description of the good-looking man who had offered him Push the night he was abused and wondered if this might not be that man.

He needed to get closer; it was impossible to hear their talk. At least Fraser didn’t seem in any immediate danger of getting blown away.

Ray moved a little back and down to a lower container to get farther to the other side. He noticed a crane a little further back and a staircase leading up to the metal walkway that went once around the hall.

He pulled himself up on the next container and found himself in front of the control panel on the bridge. He slid down with his back against it and peered around it. He was now almost directly above the group.

“He inhaled too much,” Morgan hissed at the fair-skinned man.

The man glared at him with contempt. “I wasn’t the one who pushed him into it.”

Ray’s gaze moved to Fraser and now he could see that the table next to him was covered in fine white powder. Shocked, his eyes went back to Fraser and half of his face was covered in what looked like dust.

“What was I supposed to do? You told me to keep him quiet.”

“I’m working with imbeciles. Does he look like he’s in any condition to tell us why he was snooping around now?”

Both men looked at Fraser’s barely moving form.

“He wouldn’t have told us anyway,” Morgan replied sullenly. “What about Mr. Whyte’s visit tonight?”

“We’ll stick to the plan,” the man said in a harsh voice. “And no more mistakes. He paid a generous amount and he will take the whole load if we get it ready for shipping by tonight. He’s our best customer on the East Coast and I want it to stay that way. Is that clear?” His voice could have cut ice.

“Certainly, Mr. Peters, sir.”

A light dawned on Ray. So this was Sasha Peters, the man Fraser had been supposed to meet. And he was also apparently one of the most important people involved in this deal. Ray would bet good money that he was indeed the man who supplied the victims. Getting them in and out of the hidden room with the help of the back entrance so no one ever saw anything. Clever.

“Do you think we can still use him?” Morgan asked anxiously with a glance at Fraser.

“If he doesn’t die on us first,” Peters sighed. “He isn’t used to the effects of Push; his tolerance level has to be next to none. He must’ve inhaled almost as much as that Gregory Klein and his nervous system simply shut down when the drug reached its peak.” He glanced at his watch. “If he doesn’t make it we’ll have to make sure that this one won’t be found. Whoever had him snooping around will be looking for him.”

Ray gnashed his teeth with anger. A real sliver of fear spread through his chest while he watched Fraser. He was hardly moving and it was only with the utmost concentration that Ray could make out the subtle rise and fall of his chest.

Okay, they needed to get out. Now.

Ray looked around; there had to be something he could use. His eyes went back to the crane. Hmm.

Carefully, he raised himself up to look at the control panel. Ray had never operated heavy machinery, but he figured one of these buttons had to do something interesting.

He hit the first one, causing the grappler to shoot all the way to the right where it used the remaining momentum to clang against the rails of the walkway with an ear-throbbing gong. Ray pushed another button and the grappler soared down, hitting one of the metal containers.

From below came surprised cries and shouts and Ray peered over the panel again and saw that the guard had left his post to investigate.

Quickly, Ray followed his movements from above until he had reached the site of the crash. Ray really didn’t like heights, he thought as he jumped down, taking the guard to the ground with him.

What was taking the goddamn backup so long?

“What was that?” Ray heard Morgan shout. He only had a couple of seconds, but all he needed was one moment to surprise them. Ray put on the black jacket from the unconscious guard and took his beret, angling it to obscure a part of his face. He took the automatic weapon and moved swiftly along the containers to where Morgan and Peters were waiting.

Peters had drawn his own gun, but his stance relaxed when he recognized the uniform of his security guard. Ray walked as quickly as he could without running and both men looked at him expectantly.

“Well, what was it?” Morgan asked, but Ray didn’t listen to him. He swung his arms and brought the whole weight of the automatic weapon down on Peters’s gut, knocking the breath out of him. Ray saw the realization in his eyes and took a certain satisfaction from the pain he caused. He raised his arms and brought them back down on his neck.

Ray heard a fearful gasp behind him when Peters dropped to the ground like a ton of bricks. Morgan wasn’t much of a fighter apparently and was rather looking for a quick get-away. Ray let the automatic clatter to the ground and reached for his gun.

He hadn’t gone far and Ray wouldn’t miss at that distance, with or without his glasses. He trained the gun on the back of Morgan’s head. His lip curled in anger and his finger tightened on the trigger. He should pay.

With a snarl, Ray’s aim moved lower. The shot rang out through the echoing warehouse and Morgan went down as Ray’s bullet tore through his thigh.

Ray followed him and cuffed the howling man to the chain of the nearest container without so much as a second glance. Peters was still out for the count.

Ray’s heart was in his throat as he approached Fraser.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing feedback :D I’m really awed and I’ll answer all of your comments as soon as I can. Time, however, is a little in short supply at the moment and I thought you’d rather have the final chapter than wait for me to answer your messages.

~*~

_His world was so quiet all of a sudden. He let his eyes fall shut. There, peace._

_This wasn’t how he had thought he would die._

_I’m sorry, Ray._

~*~

“Frase… hey, Ben…” Ray’s hand touched his cheek. He gasped in shock at how cold he felt. He shook him slightly and got the barest moan in response. Frantically, Ray grappled with the knots tying Fraser’s hands together. When the rope came loose, Fraser’s hands dropped limply to his side.

Oh God. OhGodohGod. _Please_ … Ray prayed.

“Fraser!” Ray shouted, delivering a stinging slap to his cheek. “You gotta wake up.” Ray shook him again and this time, Fraser’s eyes opened. Glassy blue looked right through Ray and he was pretty sure that Fraser didn’t even recognize him—if he even knew he was there.

Fraser’s lips moved, but no sound came out. His head lolled to the side and then dropped forward; he would’ve toppled out of the chair if Ray hadn’t been there to catch him.

“Hey, buddy,” Ray whispered, freaked out. He lowered Fraser to the floor and touched his face again. He couldn’t make out any breathing. Shaking fingers reached for Fraser’s throat to check his pulse.

Ray pressed his fingers tighter against the skin when he couldn’t find any.

His throat closed up and tears stung in his eyes, but Ray hardly noticed. Then his hands clenched at his sides and Ray curled them into Fraser’s shirt until the knuckles turned white.

“No, _dammit_ , not like this. You are not going to die on me, you hear me?”

He hadn’t been able to save Gregory Klein, but Ray would be damned if he lost Fraser.

Hell, why couldn’t their positions be reversed? Fraser was so much better at this.

Ray loosened his grip and placed his palms on Fraser’s chest. He counted under his breath as his hands pushed, 1-2-3, in fluent succession. With shaking hands, Ray tilted Fraser’s head back and bent down to place his mouth on Fraser’s. And then he breathed.

“C’mon,” Ray mumbled when he straightened again. His hands moved back to Fraser’s chest again and Ray resumed the compression.

“Buddy-breathing… remember?” Ray asked hoarsely and breathed into Fraser again. He felt almost light-headed and his hands looked like something that didn’t belong to his body as Ray watched them pump blood through Fraser’s heart again.

With a gasp, the body beneath Ray suddenly heaved, and for a second Ray stared blankly into Fraser’s blue eyes.

“God, Ben…” Ray breathed and his hands tightened on Fraser’s shirt.

Fraser took another breath, but appeared to have trouble coordinating his limbs.

“It’s the drug… you’ll be all right,” Ray whispered.

It wasn’t even two minutes later that their back-up arrived to secure the warehouse. Two blue-and-whites took Peters and the rest away, but Ray hardly noticed. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the glaring red of the ambulance where two medics were checking Fraser over.

Fraser looked barely conscious, but at least he was breathing on his own and he seemed to try to exert some control over his body.

The paramedic put his flashlight back into his pocket and turned to Ray.

“He’ll be fine, thanks to your quick intervention. I think you saved his life.”

Ray felt too shaken to do more than nod his assent.

“We can’t get the drug out of his system for him. He will just have to endure it.”

“How long will it take?”

The paramedic shrugged. “Hard to say. It depends on his own tolerance, the potency of the drug, and the quantity he inhaled. Had it only been a quick whiff, the effects probably wouldn’t even last an hour. The amount he ingested, though… It might be anything from 4-6 hours.”

Ray nodded. “Thanks.”

A moment later, Welsh appeared at the door.

“How is he?”

“He’ll be fine… you know Fraser, he’ll survive anything,” Ray tried to joke. Welsh looked at him intently.

“Are you alright, Detective? You did a good job out there.”

“Yeah... yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you up for the big deal?”

Ray threw Fraser a long look. He seemed to be sleeping. He would be fine.

Ray wanted to nail them. He wanted the charges piled up so high they’d never see the outside of the MCC again in their life. He owed it to Fraser.

“Ready, sir.”

Ray was going to kick some heads in.

He drove back to the _Skydeep_ and found Jack stacking the fridge. Jack turned around when he heard footsteps.

“Stan—I mean, Detective—”

“Stick with Stan for tonight… next time,” Ray added with a smirk, “you better remember my name is ‘Ray’, got it?”

Jack beamed. “Got it. How did it go? Is Ben…?” Jack trailed off unsure how to put it.

Ray’s look darkened. “He’ll be all right. But it was too close for my liking.”

Jack nodded with a scared look on his face.

“Don’t worry,” Ray said. “You’ll be all right.”

Ray moved next to him and helped him stock the bottles.

“So you and Ben aren’t really… I mean… you probably laughed your ass off, but I really thought you had a thing for him.” He looked at Ray as if to share the joke.

Ray was momentarily lost for words. He had no idea what to say.

Jack’s eyes widened as he took in Ray’s speechless state. “Hell… oh, man. You really don’t like life too easy, do you?”

Laughter bubbled up inside of Ray and spilled over. “No, seems like I don’t.”

Jack was really wired and Ray had to remind him a couple of times to calm the fuck down. Unobtrusively, Ray noted his colleagues taking up position as the club began to fill. One sat at the bar, staring into his drink; two more were seated at one of the tables, talking together; one leaned against the wall near the entrance, scanning the crowd; and Ray knew that there would be two unmarked cars on each side of the alley that accessed the hidden room.

Another car would be in the garage and Jack had let two more into the security room before anyone else arrived.

The arrival of the VIPs was a direct repetition of the last time and Philly again served the champagne himself.

Ray’s fingers turned white where he gripped the counter. Now it would show if Peters had lied to him or not.

Ray had spent the aftermath of the warehouse deal at the station, interrogating Sasha Peters—or as Ray found out ‘Aleksandr Petrovitch’. He loved how fingerprints didn’t lie.

And Peters had not taken kindly to Ray’s snooping around his past.

He had spat on the floor when Ray addressed him by his Russian name. “I don’t answer to my mother’s name. I’m an American—”

“You,” Ray stressed, “are a worthless piece of shit. I don’t care where your mother came from or what you would like to be called. You damn near killed my partner and cops don’t take lightly when one of their own gets hurt.”

“He’s not a cop,” Peters declared, but a flicker of uncertainty flashed over his face. “I know one when I see one.”

Ray grinned savagely. “He’s Canadian, maybe your nose isn’t so good with Canadians. You know, Mounties hunt you to the ends of the earth, but you haven’t met me yet. Now you spill how this deal is going down tonight or you’ll get to meet me.”

Ray might have bashed his nose in a little, which might have helped a little in loosening his tongue.

Peters had chosen the victim, always someone susceptible to Push, but he had only given them a little. That’s how he had gotten them outside into the alley, explaining they needed a quiet spot for the exchange.

He’d only given them enough that they would follow him into the back room, thinking he’d make it worth their while. Once inside, the victim was strapped to a chair and the games began, giving him more Push as they progressed. And once they were done, Ray shuddered at the pleasure with which Peters had described it all, they gave him something to wipe his memory and dumped him back outside in the alley.

“Showtime,” Ray murmured.

Jack’s eyes were anxious. “Be careful.”

Ray nodded. He had volunteered for this. Hell, he had begged Welsh to let him do this.

Ray used the way through the garage to get out of the club and nodded at Huey and Dewey, seated in the car at the mouth of the alley. He swallowed nervously. This was the only problem with the plan. Peters was cooling his heels in a holding cell, he couldn’t take Ray into the room.

Ray only hoped that his acting was good enough and that Takeda was foremost interested in keeping his customers happy.

Jack had already delivered a message to Philly, telling him a Mr. Morgan had called and that he would be late tonight, something about a shipment that wasn’t ready yet. Ray had watched Jack’s little show with appreciation and Philly seemed to buy it, hook, line, and sinker. Ray had no idea if Takeda had believed the story, too, though.

Too much hinged on luck with his plan, but Ray had seen no alternative. He wanted to see this through to the end.

Ray felt oddly naked with the wires underneath his shirt. He did feel a little better knowing that people were watching him. He only hoped the feds weren’t as thick-headed this time as they were at the poker game when it had been Fraser putting his life on the line.

There was no turning back now. Ray followed the hallway to the door at the end. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

He pulled the door open and staggered inside with mock-confusion. “Hey, gorgeo—” He smiled vaguely at the men in the room. “Where did he go?”

Takeda’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you looking for?”

Ray leered. “Gorgeous guy, dark hair, light skin… told me we would have a good time, go somewhere a little more private.”

The four other men all shared a dirty grin, eyes roving all over Ray’s body.

“You promised us something special for tonight,” one of the men murmured appreciatively. “He looks like he can hold his own.”

Another one laughed softly. “Let’s see for how long.”

Ray grinned at them and looked confused. “Are you talking about me? Have you seen the guy I’m looking for?”

Takeda made a subtle gesture and a tall man placed iron-strong hands around Ray’s arms. Ray figured this was Mr. Morgan’s replacement.

He pushed Ray into a chair and cuffed his hands behind his back. Ray swallowed dryly. He needed to get them talking.

“Mhm, you have strong arms, too,” he looked at the tall man from underneath his lashes. “Why are you cuffing my hands?” He pulled against the cuffs.

“We need to give him more Push. I don’t want to be kicked in the groin by him,” the man to Ray’s left cautioned.

“Oh,” Ray smiled dopily. “Do you have more? I’d like to have more. Do you give Push to all the guys who come in here?”

The men smiled at each other.

“Of course, it’s much more fun that way.”

Takeda opened a small box and poured a line on the glass surface of the table. Ray gulped.

“Hey, why do you have me cuffed? And where’s the guy that brought me here? I’m not sure if I want to have fun with you,” Ray babbled, looking from one man to the next.

“Oh, but we want to. Very much. And you’ll like it too in a moment or so. You’ll see.”

The tall man behind Ray placed strong fingers on the back of his head and pushed his head against the glass surface. Ray held his breath and tried not to panic.

The next instant, all hell broke loose. The doors flew open and there were guns all over the place and a lot of shouting. Of course, the moment Ray raised his head to see what was going on was also the moment he automatically breathed in and realized with widening eyes that he was also inhaling Push, if only a small dosage of it.

Ray wanted to raise a hand to his face to brush the remaining powder from his face, but his hands were still cuffed behind his back. And no one paid much attention to Ray’s calls of “Guys! Hey, guys!” what with suspects to handcuff and evidence to secure.

By the time someone had the courtesy of releasing Ray from the handcuffs he knew why the stuff was called Push. Hell, this was like a push off a cliff—everything came into stark focus. Somehow better. More real. He felt warm and loose-limbed and everything he touched felt kind of… sexy… Ray stared fascinated at his fingers as they glided over the glass table. He liked the tingling sensation down his spine.

Shit. Ray tried to keep it together, but it was kind of distracting. Thankfully, everyone around him was busy so Ray brushed past his colleagues mirandizing the VIPs and stumbled into the almost empty club. The people had been sent out when the police had charged in and Ray made his way to the bar, feeling very much high and relaxed.

Jack beamed at him. “You did it. Thank God you’re alright.”

“I’ve been in worse scrapes,” Ray said, trying to squish the low hum of arousal. Of all the inconvenient things that could’ve happened to him…

Jack bit his lip and looked meaningfully at Ray. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Ray’s eyes followed the line of Jack’s arm and he saw Fraser standing at the end of the bar, looking a little tired, but smiling at him nonetheless.

“Frase,” Ray breathed and before he had thought about it, he engulfed Fraser in a tight hug. “You should be at the hospital,” Ray mumbled, feeling the arousal cascade in waves through his body. Fraser’s scent throbbed through his blood and the memory of his skin made Ray’s fingers tingle. He had to get out of here.

“There wasn’t anything they could do for me so I released myself. I feel fine. I’m proud of you… and thank you,” he said softly.

Fraser released him and took a step back to look at him. He did a double-take when he saw Ray’s face and his gaze moved quickly from one eye to the other when he noticed the dilated pupils.

Fraser had seen him aroused often enough to know what it looked like on Ray, so Ray figured explanations were probably redundant.

Ray watched him reach out and brush a speck of white powder from Ray’s upper lip.

“Ray, did you inhale Push?”

The smile asserted itself on Ray’s face all on its own. Damn, Fraser’s fingers had felt nice against his lip.

“Yes,” Ray replied, still smiling. “But only a little. Not enough.” This was simply the power Fraser held over him, amplified a little, but Ray would’ve been lying had he passed it all off on the effect of Push.  He hadn’t been about to maul Jack, after all.

“Ray?” Fraser asked, puzzled.

“Can you drive? Can you please get us back to my place?”

“Certainly. As far as the hospital is concerned I am fully functional again.”

They met the Lieutenant outside talking to another officer, but Ray let Fraser do the talking. He promised that they would come in tomorrow for the paperwork and Ray earned a thump on the back and a ‘well done’ and then they were finally on their way home.

They climbed the stairs to Ray’s apartment and once inside, Ray flung his arms around Fraser’s neck and kissed him. He didn’t care if Fraser would push him away a second later or if Fraser didn’t feel that way about him. He had almost lost him today and arousal still sloshed through his body with every breath he took. The heat prickling underneath his skin had almost stopped though and Ray supposed that the effects of the Push were receding. Not that it made much of a difference, he thought as he inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the way Fraser smelled.

But Fraser didn’t push him away. Quite the opposite. His arms pulled Ray close as if he might never get another chance and he kissed with an urgency that rivaled Ray’s.

“Ray…” Fraser breathed against his skin in between kisses. “Dear Ray…”

And without planning it they were moving into Ray’s bedroom. Fingers found shirt tails and hems of t-shirts and Ray found that opening someone else’s jeans while kissing them wasn’t all that complicated.

Naked, Ray pushed Fraser back on the bed and he climbed into his lap, bringing their bodies as close together as possible.

Without words, Ray handed Fraser the bottle of slick and heard his breath hitch. Ray’s mouth was captured in another kiss, drowning his moan out when slippery fingers begged for entrance. Letting Fraser in seemed like the most natural thing.

“Frase…” Ray swallowed around a dry throat and tried again. “Fraser… I…”

“ _Shhh_ …” Fraser murmured, strong hands tightening their grip on Ray’s hips. “Go slow,” Fraser murmured and Ray nodded, eyes closed, lost to feeling. Ray groaned as he lowered himself, taking Fraser in inch by inch.

Fraser’s hands smoothed over Ray’s quivering stomach muscles as Ray gasped for air. Ray settled the last inch in Fraser’s lap and opened his eyes with a shuddering breath. Ray could see the muscles in Fraser’s arms tighten as he steadied Ray’s back with one hand while he moved Ray’s feet with his other one so that they were slung behind the small of his back. Ray slid another half an inch deeper that way and he saw a small bead of sweat drip down Fraser’s temple.

“Move,” Fraser murmured into the corner of Ray’s mouth. And Ray did. He tightened the grip of arms and raised himself up, wringing a low moan from Fraser.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ray gasped and repeated the movement. He moved faster and felt Fraser’s fingers digging into his back and hip, always pulling him back down—tighter, stronger than before. He had never seen Fraser look quite like that.

The heavy-lidded eyes and the flushed cheeks, the relaxed, partially opened lips, the abandonment of anything and everything that wasn’t pure pleasure. “Oh God… Ray…” Fraser whispered breathlessly, sweaty hands roaming over Ray’s heated skin, committing every dip and curve and angle to memory.

Ray rocked again and his lips parted to take in more air. It was effortlessly, the slide against Fraser’s body, moving in tune with him. “Ray…” Fraser murmured. One of his hands left Ray’s skin to reach for the lube bottle. Ray’s heart did a little jump when he heard the ‘click’ as Fraser popped the cap.

Dark eyes focused on the bottle in Fraser’s hand and then Fraser upended the bottle and squeezed, dribbling slick onto Ray’s aching erection. Ray hissed at the cold, unable to decide whether he wanted more of it or to get away from it.

Fraser closed capable fingers around Ray’s cock, spreading the slick over the whole length.

“Oh God… oh God… Fraser…” Ray chanted, the eyes closed, biting his lip as if in concentration. Ray’s body flowed in a fluid arc, impaling himself and then arching up into Fraser’s fist.

“Ray, you’re…” Fraser licked his lips. “… _my god_ … Ray…”

With a sound like a sob Ray dug his fingers into Fraser’s back and raised his hips at a frantic pace. Fraser tightened the grip of his fist and felt the muscles in Ray’s thighs jump as his whole body tensed. He felt Ray push down hard as his body shuddered with the force of his climax, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Fraser was biting his lip, gathering the last shreds of willpower to keep holding on. Ray’s kiss was sudden and wet, his tongue filled Fraser’s mouth as if he was trying to taste his soul. Fraser’s arms came up to support Ray’s back and Ray limply followed the push of Fraser’s body, going over backwards and taking Fraser with him.

Suddenly, Fraser’s weight was pushing Ray into the mattress and Fraser rolled his hips, pushing deep into Ray and Ray gasped, fingers leaving red streaks on the moist skin of Fraser’s back. “Oh… yes… Fraser, please…” Ray mumbled, his hips coming up to meet Fraser’s thrust without any conscious thought.

Harder, Fraser slammed in, burying his face in the crook of Ray’s shoulder. He was murmuring something into Ray’s skin, but Ray couldn’t make any of it out, and then Fraser pushed in again with a broken moan on his lips, buried deep inside of Ray as he came, arms shaking with the strain of supporting him.

Ray lay there, eyes closed, just breathing. He had no idea what had just happened. It hadn’t felt like a charade at all to him. And if Fraser didn’t feel like that about him then why had he kissed him so desperately when they had reached the apartment?

Why hadn’t he pushed Ray away? Why had he made love to him?

Fraser’s breath stirred the soft hairs on Ray’s arm. Slowly, Ray opened his eyes to look at him. Fraser was propping his head up with one hand and his other was just a hairbreadth away from touching Ray’s skin. Ray watched Fraser’s hand as it slowly crept closer, caressing the soft skin of Ray’s stomach with the barest of touches.

A sad smile played around the corner of Fraser’s mouth.

“I believe I owe you an explanation,” Fraser sighed quietly. “I was surprised when I found out that you wanted to explore this side of yourself.”

He didn’t look particularly happy about it, though, Ray thought.

“My decision to indulge you in this need was not completely selfless, however.”

Ray frowned, but Fraser was busy watching the movements of his hands.

Fraser bit his lip and his hand stopped for a short moment. “I can understand that there is a certain urge to experiment when one first finds out that attraction is a much broader field than one had initially thought. It is only natural to look for someone close to oneself for this and I am honored that you trusted me with it… But I know I should never have said ‘yes’ when you propositioned me because—”

Anger flashed through Ray. He was not about to have a repeat of last time.

“Damn right you shouldn’t have,” Ray snapped. “Poor Ray needs someone to experiment with, how noble of you. And it’s just sex, right? Just a charade,” Ray spat. “Of course, it doesn’t mean anything to you. Why should it? Well, guess what? It meant something to me,” Ray exclaimed angrily. “It means the world to me,” he added quietly, suddenly more nervous than angry.

Fraser’s eyes widened in shock and Ray realized that this was indeed news to Fraser.

“Oh dear. Ray, you misunderstood… when I called it a charade I didn’t mean that it meant nothing to me. Rather the opposite, I’m afraid; it was acting like it was merely sex to me that turned it into a charade.”

“Wait, what?” Ray stared dumbfounded at Fraser.

“Ray, this is probably rather late to tell you, but I have been attracted to you right from the start. I just never thought you might return my feelings… and when you were suddenly curious I… I couldn’t pass up on the chance. I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

“Fraser… Ben…” Ray felt like kicking himself. “It was you that made me think gay things, that made me, er… curious.”

Fraser smiled. “You know, Ray, bisexual is not a dirty word.”

Ray paused. Fraser still wasn’t listening to what he was trying to tell him. “You still don’t get it, do you?” How could someone as brilliant as Fraser be so thick?

Fraser’s smile trailed off and he sighed. “I do understand, Ray. Certain sexual encounters leave an emotional attachment and first times of any kind are prime examples of that. I am telling you that there is no need to assume this is something more than mere curiosity on your part. Pheromones and endorphins create a bond that makes you believe you feel something for me when in reality this feeling is only a result of the intimacy that we shared.”

Ray wanted to smack him. Good, he had been afraid this urge would vanish when he fell in love with him.

“Damn it!” Ray snarled. He pushed Fraser flat on his back and leaned over him.

“I tried to tell you that this was all you. I wasn’t curious about other guys and turned to you to find out, okay? I wanted to kiss _you_ , get it? Before we ever ended up making love I wanted to be the one to kiss you, to touch you, hell—I couldn’t stop thinking about you!”

Fraser opened his mouth and closed it again. His tongue flicked out to wet his bottom lip. “Make love?” He asked in a scratchy voice.

Ray felt the heat steal up his neck and cursed silently. “Yes, you freak.”

Fraser smiled softly. “You didn’t let me finish before.” He cupped Ray’s head and pulled him down. When their lips were almost touching, he murmured, “I’m sorry for not being honest with you right from the start. I should have told you that I was already in love with you when you first asked me.” Ray fell into the kiss with abandon. Gasping, Ray broke away, rubbing his renewed erection helplessly against Fraser’s hip, but Fraser was in a similarly aroused state.

“Ray,” he moaned. “Are you sure this isn’t the drug talking?”

Ray rolled his hips to brush their cocks together. He gasped for breath before he had enough air to answer. “I think… ah… I think the effect wore off sometime after we climbed the stairs to my place, told you it wasn’t much.”

“Good,” Fraser panted and reversed their positions.

### Epilogue

“Greatness.” Ray signed his statement with a flourish. God, it felt good to put the jerks behind bars.

Dewey walked past and remarked, “Are you sure you won’t miss the nights at the gay club, all those guys trying to pick you up?”

Fraser seemed ready to break up a fight, but Ray only leaned back in his chair and looked at Dewey. “Why? I see you every day. Besides, I think you’ll find someone else at the club to make a pass at—but I’m touched you’d miss me.”

Dewey spluttered and Huey laughed. Ray winked at Fraser and pulled him along the hallway towards the exit. It had taken longer to get all the Is dotted and all the Ts crossed, but one week later they were finally able to close the file.

“What do you think? For old time’s sake?” Ray asked as he stopped the car on their way back from a late dinner.

Fraser smiled softly and then nodded.

They entered the _Skydeep_ together. Ray was happy the club had been able to stay open. The ownership was still questionable since everyone involved with Meissner  & Fish had been convicted, but Ray was sure someone would buy the place and keep it running.

Even without Push circulating the club it was packed and it took Ray a moment to reach the bar.

“Hey,” he grinned at Jack.

Jack’s eyes widened when he caught sight of him. His whoop of joy was probably even heard outside.

“St—Ray, I mean. How have you been? Wait.” He pushed a beer in front of Ray. “This is on me. Man, it’s good to see you.”

“Can I have a water, too?” Ray cocked his head in the direction where Fraser was waiting.

Jack’s mouth dropped open a tiny bit. “You didn’t!”

Ray’s lip twitched. “Maybe I did.”

“All the good guys are either straight or taken,” he sighed wistfully, sliding a glass of water over to Ray.

“Thank you,” Ray smiled.

“So there’s no chance to get you back behind the bar, huh?”

“Not at the moment,” Ray laughed.

“Pity. Drop by now and then… and bring Baby Blues with you, he’s good for business.”

Ray shook his head with a grin and went back to Fraser.

Ray placed their drinks on a nearby table and crowded Fraser against the wall. Fraser’s eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Yes, Ray?” he asked politely.

“You have no idea how often I had to watch some other guy coming on to you.” Ray brushed his lips against Fraser’s and heard the sharp intake of breath.

“You have no idea how many nights I spent watching Jack coming on to you,” Fraser murmured back, claiming his mouth for a kiss.

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Ray smiled and touched Fraser’s ear with his lips as he spoke. Fraser’s grip on him tightened.

“You just wait until we get home,” Fraser promised, his crooked tooth showing at the corner, a flash of white in a room of shadow.

Ray shivered. “Can we go now?”

Fraser’s pleased laughter made Ray feel warm all over.


End file.
